Shimur Iyer & Asmoreth Iyer reported Rakiyl and Shaden in Saris’ room. The Shaden waited for any moment of fear, and then her body would be vulnerable, she would think her healing had gone. We were all overjoyed when Sari sent them packing.


My faith was soaring.

A few weeks later, completely well and back home, I got up and in my head I heard clearly, “Learn Psalm 91.”

“Oh yes,” I thought, “don’t be daft Sari.”

“Learn Psalm 91.”    “Learn Psalm 91.”   The thought would not go away. It wasn’t easy with so much happening in the house but when Hamish came home I said to him, “Guess what I’ve done today?”

“No idea.” Was his swift retort.

“I’ve learned Psalm 91.”

“Go on then clever clogs, lets’ hear it.”

I faultlessly recited the whole Psalm, proud of myself but totally bemused why I had to learn it.

That night I woke up from a deep sleep feeling chilled and completely scared. I tried to move and nudge Hamish, but my body was frozen. Out of the corner of my eye I saw something I won’t describe, it was horrible and it was trying to touch me. I found my voice and I said clearly,

“In the name of Jesus I command you to leave.”

Nothing happened.

“In the name of Jesus I command you to leave.”

Still nothing.

I was panicking until a small voice said, “Psalm 91”.

I began to recite the words and as each part was uttered they hit the shadowy figure like bullets. As they found their target it moved jerked away, until as I almost yelled, “The Lord says, “I will rescue those who love me. I will protect those who trust in My name. When they call on Me I will answer….”   and the figure seemed to be sucked out of the room right through the wall.

I turned to look at Hamish, he was still fast asleep.

I asked Jesus why I needed to learn the Psalm, and the answer came back, “Some spirits have to be fought with the ‘Word’.”

The atmosphere of miracles surrounded us, and was in our home. Miracle followed miracle until almost everyone in our family had been touched by this wonderful power.Everyone except Mel.

My Mum had a brain haemorrhage and we were told she would not live through the night. As a family we prayed and to the amazement of the doctors she was alert the next morning. They decided to operate and remove the vessels from her brain. The surgery was successful. A few years later Mum was diagnosed with cancer, and in the last weeks of her life, while she was in hospital, we prayed for a minister who knew Mum to come and see her. When we went to the cafe a Vicar who had been at Mum’s local church ten years earlier, and knew her as a neighbour, was sat at a table speaking to someone. He had called in to the hospital to see his friend, breaking the journey from Northumberland to London. He saw Mum and prayed with her, and for the first time in days, she opened her eyes and in a whisper said, “Amen”.

When my niece was expecting her second baby she had a scan showing cysts on the baby’s brain. Everyone prayed and on the next scan they were gone. I had seen Jesus touching them as we prayed, and they dissolved and disappeared.

The time after my healing ushered in the beginnings of seeing with spirit eyes, dreaming dreams, getting ‘words’ from the Lord.

Living a supernatural life is awesome.

It is sometimes hard to watch the suffering of humans, as their bodies become riddled with disease and death.

Sari’s life played out in the realm of time, and we knew from the airwaves when something special was going to happen.

Heyel caused us some concern because he is always determined to undermine anything good. Sari was surrounded by Rakiyl whispering lies from the moment she was healed. Shaden were ready to move in at the first sign of an opening, trying to bring back pain and sickness. A moment of doubt, just a single negative thought, was enough for a violent push, throwing Sari onto the floor, damaging her hand and leg. Our attempts to break through were clouded because of the pain. Victory came through faithful prayers of the beloved.

Because Sari spoke out in the power of the Boss’s name, a Shaden, attempting to gain entry while she was sleeping, was despatched to the bottomless pit. Sari had listened well. Then, with some prompting from Ruach, she was obedient in learning the words of power from the ‘Book’. We laughed at the surprise of another more powerful Shaden, convinced he could enter Sari’s body, but instead being vaporized by the words she had memorised.

The wonderful excitement of Issy and Joseph regaining power and authority in the Spirit Realm was wonderful, but we all jolted back into quick and urgent response as we watched life ebb away from Sari’s body. The Boss was waiting for her, and it was a joyous reunion.

This was the beginning of another, more glorious season.


The service was joyful. Every aspect of Sari and her miraculous life and faith in Jesus was a celebration. The surroundings were soft and beautiful.

Sari had previously determined that her opportunity for one last chance to tell friends and family about Jesus would be at her own funeral, so many years before her death she wrote a message and recorded music to go with it. Hamish had found this slipped into the envelope with their joint will.


In obedience to the Holy Spirit who lives in me I am writing this.

With joyful hearts listen to this and picture my departing from this life.  (song…‘Carry me away’).

For all of you here, now, who do not hold my Lord Jesus as Lord of your lives, I apologise that in life I could not have shown you Him and enabled you to see Him, through me. My prayer is that now, in this moment, now I am once again home with my Jesus, you might experience, perhaps for the first time, His unconditional and wonderful love for you.

The Bible says He knew me even before my birth, I know this because I was shown a precious vision. I am, even now in remembering, filled with indescribable yearning to be back with my Jesus. I saw myself in His wonderful hand, being cradled and loved. I was safe, I was so full of joy, and I never wanted to leave Him. When I die I know where I am going.

If you were to die tonight do you know where you will go?

I am with Him right now, but as I write this I can only imagine what it will be like.

(song… ‘I can only imagine’).

Jesus is awesome, this is what he did for us all. The following words say all He is to me so perfectly. (song…‘Above All’).

You have heard who My Jesus is to me, but remember He is your Jesus too. He left His home in Heaven for you. He lived a life on earth for you, He was tortured, humiliated, nailed to a cross and He died, willingly, for you. He is waiting for you to see the wrong things in your life, to say sorry and to ask Him to come and live in your heart. He is Lord of my life, every second, minute hour, day month and year left for this body to breathe. My heart, mind, body, soul and spirit are His.


Because, He took my place, my punishment, my death, He gave me eternal life.

I pray you will love Him as I love Him. He will change your life forever. He will give you eternity with Him.

I will be home now, back in His hands. I know where I am going. I know who I am going to be with for all time. Close your eyes and listen. (song …‘The King who remembers my name’).

I can only imagine yet again what it will be like as I slip from life here on earth.  I love this picture. (song… ‘Golden City’).

Who can compare to Jesus? Listen to this beautiful song and begin to understand His magnificence. (song… ‘Magnificent’).

Who can provide like Jesus? He takes the punishment we deserve. (song… ‘There is a Green Hill in a faraway country’).

Only Jesus can forgive all the wrong stuff in our lives. Chains of events are happening every day we are alive. They wrap around us and bind us until we often feel unable to move forward. Listen to the song, and remember the words  ( song… ‘Let forgiveness break the chain’).

No one else in the whole world can love us like Jesus loves us. We need His love. To experience His love is so wonderful.  His love is miraculous. (song…  ‘The Miracle of Love’).

Eternal life.

What will it be like to meet Jesus at the end of life’s  journey? We have no way of knowing, except through the interpretation of scripture.   (song… ‘The Golden City’).

What a joy to meet each of you again. I will be with my Lord Jesus, His arms will be open wide as He welcomes you home. This is a beautiful description of reunion, (song… ‘Journeys End’).

If you die tonight, do you know where you are going?

This is a message from Jesus, to you. (song… ‘I’m waiting for you’).

Pray this last prayer, with me, for yourself and your life.

Lord Jesus, I want my life to be sorted out. I need to know that if I die tonight I will be coming to be with you. I am sorry for all the wrong things in my life, I ask you to please forgive me. I invite you to come and live in my heart, to share my life.  Thank you for dying in my place and taking on yourself all my sin, shame, and sickness. For taking the punishment I deserve, for dying in my place. Thank you that I am now breathing eternity.


If you prayed that prayer, and meant it, enjoy singing this, my final contribution for this life. (song… ‘How Great is our God’).  ”

People were singing with gusto. It was an amazing service.

Outside the red brick building Rakiyl were leaping around in a frenzy. This was their finest “coo” in Chatterbridge for a long time. Everyone was about to get a shock!

Just as the service was almost over, a green mist appeared in the open doorway. It was the shape and size of a person.

Shimrath and Tabbach Shamir had been made aware that something was about to take place, all Shamir involved were briefed by the boss and ready to act. They moved close to their charges.

Issy screamed in horror. She clung to Joseph who was beside her.

This was not the general reaction, there were some who were filled with awe, certain they were witnessing something profound. Mel shrieked with delight.

“Stop it. Please make it stop.” Issy mouthed the words, unable to vocalize anything.

Sar Iyer was ready and he signalled the two Tsaba warriors to move in. They attacked the Charash Belial guarding the image, and the mirage evaporated.

People were stunned, the service ended abruptly. The funeral party moved into the reception room for the buffet that was set out for them. No one spoke about what they had all seen, but under the ‘chit chat’ minds were racing. The Rakiyl were busy whispering into any ear that would listen.

Issy and Joseph were under no illusion. Their spirits witnessed to them quite clearly that it was an evil manifestation. Once before they had both felt the same chilling awareness as they watched Mel and her friends speaking to the stranger just after the big wave incident.

Joseph nudged Issy. Two women in animated conversation held their attention for a moment.

“Well Daisy I have to say I’ve never seen the like!  ‘Reccon’ there’s truth about life after death. ‘Twas amazin’ an’ no mistakin’.”

“Spooky if you ask me. You reccon twas like a ghost or something then Edna?” Issy’s Great Aunty Daisy rubbed her eyes as she spoke.

“Mebbe so Daisy. Don’t rightly know. But I reccon your Sari was havin’ the last word as usual!”

The two women laughed uneasily and walked towards the sherry.

An hour later, before making their way to the Church Yard and the final goodbye, Hamish looked at Sari, and pleaded for life to be ‘breathed’ back into her. The Boss was beside him, an arm around his shoulders. Hamish felt the glorious presence and his spirit leapt. Issy and Joseph also felt the Glory drawing them into the other room with Hamish. Their spirits seemed to unite, soaking up the atmosphere, growing into gigantic spirit men urging life back into Sari’s dead body. The coffin lid was still open and she looked serene.

Joseph noticed the first stirrings as a nostril flared. He gasped. Hamish then leaped into the air as Sari opened her eyes.

Sar Iyer and the Tsaba Warriors surrounding Sari were elated. Jesus beamed.

The Rakiyl tried to whisper doubts, but the miracle was so outstanding and medically verified, few would listen to their mutterings. It made the international news.

The atmosphere that was around the coffin had attached itself in glorious tangibility to Sari, Hamish, Issy and Joseph. They carried this with them wherever they went and people were aware of amazing things happening when they were around. When they prayed for the sick all were healed. There were outstanding creative miracles.

They were inundated with invitations to give testimony, to visit churches, speak about the miracles, and pray for the sick.


I am so thankful for my life. The Lord has truly blessed me. Looking back over the years I marvel at the miracles. Hamish and I have two lovely girls, and although I long for the restoration of my relationship with Mel, I know it isn’t in my hands.

Some of Mel’s choices have caused us great sadness and we speak light and life into her very being, despite her own seeking after darkness. Mel knows the truth and only His truth can set her free.

I thought the incredible miracles would surely turn the tide of her ventures into the occult. Amazingly she seemed to be even more determined to go deeper. The repercussions have been destructive for her, and those around her.

Sometimes when blessings seem to pour into our lives, something would suddenly make us stop and think, “What’s happening?” Our lives so blessed and Mel’s so dark.

Hamish and I were thrilled with the spiritual awareness developing in Issy and Joseph. They were on a path of intimate insight given to very few people.

It was around this time I found myself feeling quite poorly. We prayed, and still I felt ill and the chest pains got worse. Events in our lives don’t always make sense, but, when they run their course we finally see the bigger picture and how the Lord works out all things for good and He is glorified.

At the time there seemed nothing to bring Him glory in the way I felt, confused but also completely at peace. Even as Issy and Joseph ran towards the trolley looking so scared, I knew the moment I was lifted into the ambulance that I wasn’t afraid. I had put the situation into His hands. I felt excited at the thought of leaving this world and stepping into His arms, going ‘home’. At the same time I felt a deep sense of loss for Hamish and the girls.

The pains in my chest got worse. The hospital bed seemed to melt away under me.

I was once again being nestled by those wonderful hands. I rested my head securely, and I sighed.

“Welcome, you are home Sari.” The gentle voice paused, momentarily. “I am going to give you a choice. You can remain here, or, if you are willing, choose to return for a short time. I have one final task for you to complete on earth. If you do this, many lost souls will come to know me.”



Issy was sixteen and Mel had just celebrated her twenty first birthday, the year after Sari was brought back to earth.  They were each walking different paths, representing a spiritual spectrum so far apart and yet so closely woven.

Time is unravelling fast.

The Bible tells of a ladder leading to open heaven on which angels ascend and descend. Jesus speaks of Himself leading to open heaven, where angels will ascend and descend on Him. We have two ladders, one the imitation ladder leading only to the realm of Heyel, it cannot leave his dominion. The other ladder passes from earth to open heaven, and few humans are privileged to ascend this ladder. Issy and Joseph experienced the imitation ladder until they focussed on Jesus and He then led them upwards to open heaven. Mel and her friends chose to remain with the imitation ladder and the darkness associated with it.

The spirit realm is real.

As humans grow spiritually they can begin to use their spiritual senses, seeing, hearing, tasting, smelling, feeling and touching, the supernatural.

Jesus gave Issy and Joseph the Bible, God’s Word, to equip them. In it are all the weapons humans need to survive and be victorious in the spirit realm.

The battle is real and VERY dangerous without this protection.



Ezrath, Qal and Azar Shamir watched as their charges slipped deeper into the clutches of Heyel. Alex, Chad and Mel failed to utter the words they wanted to hear, words asking for help. Instead, they spoke over themselves, words of death.

For a short time in the Chatterbridge Christian Felowship Children’s Church, the trio experienced a time of childhood innocence, providing a tiny seed of hope. This part of their life had been filled with life giving words. There was a minute glimmer of light deep within each of them. The light was overshadowed by negative emotions, hurt, and experiences, cutting so deep they became twisted together, gnarled into ugly roots penetrating the very cells of their bodies.

Mel was eaten up with hatred. She could not forgive Hamish, Sari, Issy and Helen, so any guidance and help directed by the Boss was swallowed up.

Yet the words spoken to a wronged soul are a line to life. Mel needed ears to hear……..

My dearest darling child, you feel so unloved and ill used.

I love you.

I love you with an undying, unconditional love.

You are my own, My sweet, My dear child and I am your Heavenly Father.

Climb into My arms and feel the release only I can give you.

Allow Me to remove the bitter root entwined around your very soul.

I captured all your tears, until you hardened your heart, refusing to weep.

When tears flow once more, the chains binding you to misery and death will fall away,

you will find peace in Me.

Your pain is My pain.

I am anguished when your choices pull you further into darkness.

Only I can set you free. Only I can release you from the entanglement of shame and guilt.

Allow Me to flow into every cell of your being.

To cushion you, and guide you through the bad places.

Come, My child, rest in My arms.

Let go, I will catch you.

I love you with a love that is unconditional and eternal.

You are My child. I am your Father.

Mel’s heart had to soften, she had to learn to forgive, and to love. To respond to this wonderful love.


Chad was lost in a pit of adrenaline. Human reaction to pain excited every fibre of his being, yearning for the excitement and thrill it gave him. He lived to see the suffering and hurt he could inflict, this was his power.

The twins had grown up with a Dad who controlled and ruled the household with an iron hand. He was a tough landlord. The pub was also a place where he wielded law and authority, and the boy’s were exposed to his unyielding and rigid attitude in every area of life. They understood that if they did something to displease him they would be punished. Right and wrong was never an issue or indeed if what they did was wrong it was never explained. Punishment was inevitable if Dad was angry. Because they expected to be punished, good and bad ceased to have any meaning, so they would do what they wanted, and if they got caught they would grit their teeth and take the beating.

They never asked, ‘Why?’

Words are power.

Alex knew this and used them to cause chaos and destruction.

Since the beginning it has been recorded for humans to see and understand the great force contained in words, but only a few see and understand. They use words to speak idly, to gossip, to murder reputations, to curse, to condemn, to idolise……. the list goes on and on. The damage is immense, to themselves, to others, and to the world around them.

Words are power.

Bara spoke everything into existence, He said,

“Let there be light,” and there was light.

And God said, “Let there be space between the waters, to separate water from water.” And so it was.

And God said, “Let the waters beneath the sky be gathered into one place so dry ground may appear.” And so it was.

Then God said, “Let the land burst forth with every sort of grass and seed-bearing plant. And let there be trees that grow seed-bearing fruit. The seeds will then produce the kinds of plants and trees from which they came.” And so it was.

And God said, “Let bright lights appear in the sky to separate the day from the night. They will be signs to mark off the seasons, the days, and the years. Let their light shine down upon the earth.” And so it was.

And God said, “Let the waters swarm with fish and other life. Let the skies be filled with birds of every kind.” So Bara created great sea creatures and every sort of fish and every kind of bird, and He saw that it was good.

And God said, “Let the earth bring forth every kind of animal—livestock, small animals, and wildlife.” And so it was.

Then God said, “Let us make people in our image, to be like ourselves. They will be masters over all life—the fish in the sea, the birds in the sky, and all the livestock, wild animals,  and small animals.” So God created people in his own image; God patterned them after himself; male and female he created them. God blessed them and told them, “Multiply and fill the earth and subdue it. Be masters over the fish and birds and all the animals.” And God said, “Look! I have given you the seed-bearing plants throughout the earth and all the fruit trees for your food. And I have given all the grasses and other green plants to the animals and birds for their food.” And so it was.

Then God looked over all he had made, and he saw that it was excellent in every way.”

Alex had grasped the power of words. He used them to change the atmosphere in situations. He used them to speak over people and get them to do what he wanted. Alex was learning to use words of destruction and death, curses and torment, preparing the way for Chad to ‘flesh out’ the evil, and to keep Mel captured with them both.

All three of them were being used by Heyel, they were ensnared, and were drawing others into his trap.

Bara spoke His words into this swamp of sin.

My children, you are trapped, ensnared by the evil one who would claim your souls.

Out of your mouths pour his words of death and destruction.

In your hearts are actions of hatred and pain.

Yet, in the midst of so much darkness there is a point of light. Although it is small the radiance already pierces into the blackness, illuminating the evil, pushing it back, showing it for what it is. It is death.

This tiny light is the light of life, ready to burst forth into a flame and then a burning fire, eliminating every lingering shadow, until it blazes forth from a purified heart.

My children, this light is My love for you.

Do not quench it.

Allow My love to flow through you and shine from you.

A witness in a cold, sin filled world.

Hear Me, allow Me to set you free My children.

Ask and it will be given.

Seek and you will find.

Knock and the door will be opened.

I am waiting for you.

Chad, Alex and Mel, needed to hear these words of freedom and life.


I had known life sucked from the moment Issy was born. It seemed that from the moment she stuck her head into planet Earth, everything and everyone had a grudge against me. For years I focussed my hatred on Sari and Issy, thinking Hamish would love me again. Then Helen ended up in prison, and I hated her because she had let me down. They all seemed to be responsible for my unhappy life.

Finally I thought I had met someone who genuinely cared for me.

It was 2002, I was sixteen and going to college. Chad and Alex were helping their Dad at the Legion Arms and for the first time I was on my own at school. I knew some of the students in my year, but none of them were friends. In fact quite a few had been targets for our bullying.

The campus was massive, and I felt very lonely, so when one of the lecturers offered to help me with some course work, I was eager to accept.

“Come and see me at 4.30 Mel. Bring your camera and we can do some shooting.” Tony was in his early thirties.

I was on the media course. The previous year my art teacher was shocked when I turned in my exhibit for GCSE, I thought it was great, and it was the reason I was taking media studies. Issy had a baby doll, she loved it, and for years she went everywhere with Lizzie Drippin. I hated that doll, so I stole it for my project. First of all I undressed it then I set fire to it. I got my camera, the plastic was dripping and contorting, I ‘snapped’ until the body was sufficiently maimed. Then I ripped off arms, legs and finally it’s scarred head with melted brittle hair. Nailing it to the red and black canvas, I arranged the dismembered body and took more photographs. I called it ‘From Lizzie to Issy’.

Tony had read my first assignment. I put down in words how nothing much excited me, but I got a thrill taking pictures of fights. Somewhere in my mind there was excitement at the prospect of being a war photographer, or even working for the police, snapping up dead bodies on film.

“Let’s throw round some ideas Mel. Don’t worry about shocking me. Just let the images you would like to photograph get tossed into our ‘brain storming’.”

There was an A3 pad leaning against the wall and Tony was poised, waiting to write down anything I said. Because he never flinched I found myself sharing the inner depths of my soul.

Sexual fantasies and aggression peeled away layers of constraint, I was exhilarated, running a verbal marathon. As my words finally ended I realised Tony was breathless too.

We stared at the page.

“Wow! That was awesome Mel!” I looked at him feeling amazed that he wasn’t judging me.

Tony became my mentor, showing me pictures and DVD’s, orchestrating many of my fantasies. He told me he was enabling me to explore my dark side.

It was almost the end of my first term. I wasn’t looking forward to the nauseating time ahead where everyone was ‘full of good cheer’. Issy really made me puke every year, she would go round singing “Happy Birthday Jesus”, and even had it written in lights for the window.

“Got anything planned for the holidays Mel?” Tony was leaning back listening to a  Sabbath Black CD.

I stopped rifling through my latest batch of pictures. “Nope. Hate this time of year.” I turned around and faced him.

“Reccon you can get away for a few days?”

I smiled.

It was so easy to fool everyone. Lies came easily, I said I was going to stay over with Chad and Alex. They were both happy to lie for me.

Tony had a house on the outskirts of Chatterbridge, it was at the end of a two mile track. The winter sunshine gave it an unearthly quality, streaking it with a watery pale light.

It was good to go somewhere uncluttered by the trappings of Christmas.

‘Heavy’ music and dark sinister words filled the atmosphere. I gurgled with delight.

Tony brought to my world a sexual and masochistic revelry. He enjoyed violence and I enjoyed giving and receiving it too.

When the new term began we were careful. It was exciting and dangerous, no one knew our secret.

I was so naive.

My period was two months overdue and I was in denial. This couldn’t happen to me!

Eventually after a home test proved positive I went to see Tony.

“I’m pregnant.”

The words hung heavily in the air and I shut my eyes.

Hearing a movement I looked to see Tony ripping a cheque from his cheque book. It was blank except for his signature.

“Get it sorted. Now get out.”

I felt completely alone.

It was a bit odd but everywhere I looked at home leaflets appeared about abortion. I was angry. Did they know? I even picked one up and laughed as I read the pathetic words……

When does life begin?

“Who cares! There’s no way I’m having this kid.”

Because I didn’t know what I was doing I found an abortion clinic that was not registered, charging excessive amounts, with a turnover resembling a factory producing death. Tony was furious and the day after the abortion he told me he didn’t want me anymore.

I made a vow as he walked away, “I’m going to make you wish you had never set eyes on me you scum bag.”

I told the truth, I wanted to ruin him, however my reputation for lying caught up with me, andTony played the part of a maligned victim, to perfection.

It was my word against his, so in disgrace, and labelled a liar, I was expelled from the College. Instead of photography being my career, it became an important escape. Chad and Alex didn’t have an official job at the Legion, so we were all screwing the system. With no job to get in the way we had plenty of time for our games, and I had plenty of time to plan my revenge.

I began to see an eye. The eye watched me, unwavering and relentless. The eye filled my mind, until, waking or sleeping, it was always there. The eye gave me power, enough to convince me that revenge would be sweet.

Ezrath Shamir found this period of his time with Mel particularly distressing. She was bombarded with a constant stream of whispers from the Rakiyl, and Heyel himself was monitoring the situation, giving Mel power and resources to use. Unless she called for help Ezrath could only stand by and watch.

The self destruction of a soul driven by revenge is a terrible thing.

With Chad and Alex following closely, Mel carefully picked her way down the long track. The two mile walk seemed to fire them into a frenzy of anticipation. On the outside of time only we could see the platoon of Heyel’s lackeys, impacting evil on the trio.

Crouching low on the grassy bank, Mel and the twins waited, staring at the house.

Eventually the solitary light was extinguished by the unsuspecting man preparing to sleep.

Tony had been marked by the Malakuth as a young teenager. He was groomed by a senior Malakuth posing as a friend, directing and coaching him in sexual deviation and violence. As Mel entered his bedroom the Malakuth standing close to the bed was invisible to her.

Chad and Alex grabbed Tony and tied him to the bed. Mel was triumphant.

She enjoyed the humiliation, the degradation and was delighted as Tony cried and begged her to tell Chad to stop beating him.

It didn’t end on earth for Tony until the Malakuth appeared to him, dragging his screaming soul from a lifeless body, victoriously escorting another prize to Olam Sheol.

Mel smiled as she climbed into her bed, listening to the fire engines blaring into the night.

On the next watch our instructions were to stay close to Chad. My report begins with Bara speaking over him.


“I spoke, and your world was created. I have known you from the beginning of time. I long for you to have the full blessings of my love and power…But you are ensnared within the clutches of Heyel’s deceit…His futile attempt to crumble the very fibres of mankind.

I made you in my image child. I made all my children to be male or female.

It is blaspheming to bring into existence this lie. You are being robbed of the blessings I freely give all my children.

The devil is laughing at you, because in his defeat, he is whispering lies, and causing you, my child, to stumble into this trap for your soul.

He is the master of lies, yet he trips himself up because even his own lies of evolution, should clear your mind of this sexual untruth.

The lie against Creation, says evolution maintains and strengthens.. So… why should one gender have the emotions of the opposite…. Making human reproduction physically repugnant! There is no future! No seeds to plant!

The spilling of seed becomes an abomination, and I am grieved for you. Oh my child, I created you, I designed each cell, and fibre of your being. I placed within you a spirit, which has such longing for a new birth. Don’t crush and smother your spirit.

Heyel’s lie would have you believe that you are less than perfect. That there is some flaw in a gene or chromosome. My child, you are perfect… Only his deceit makes you think otherwise. Don’t be trapped, free yourself from his tyranny. He is sneering and laughing at you as he encourages you along this path.

Oh my child, why are you walking the way of abomination? Even though you don’t acknowledge me you are still my precious child… I love you.

Let me free you from this bondage and awaken your spirit to new life. I am a God of love.

I love you so much I offered my own Son as a sacrifice. My Son has already carried your abomination in His own body… So you could be washed clean by the blood He shed for you. My precious Son won the victory over Heyel and death. My precious Son offers you a new life. Let my Son’s Holy Spirit breathe this life into your spirit. Then, my child, instead of this abomination of foulness and lies, you will be filled with faith, love, joy and  peace..

A peace so wonderful it will surpass all your understanding.

To find peace of mind and peace with others, you must find peace with me first, my child.

I am waiting for you with arms outstretched. I am knocking, waiting, for you to invite me into your life. I am your light in your darkness, I am a presence in your loneliness. I am your strength in your weakness, I am your guide in your lostness.

I have already carried this burden for you, let me roll it away forever… Turn away from this abomination, walk with me… You are my child and I love you.”


I liked my life. This amazing guy Heyel really blew me away with his power and crazy ideas. He gave me strength, and I craved more and more.

Our initial meeting, riding the wave was enticing, and as we made contact with him over the years stuff got better and better.

Recently I met a fabulous like-minded bloke who took me to a meeting, an organisation where there were a couple of hundred people just like me. It was really cool because they were into riots, beatings, even murder. Heyel was really pleased.

Rory was great. We ‘clicked’ immediately, and he showed me how I was ‘different’, like him.


I wasn’t very keen when Chad started hanging around with Rory. We had always been a team. However the first meeting I went to with them changed all that. I phoned Mel to join us, we decided to get involved.

What a future.

Chad and Rory were hooked together now, so Mel and I became partners in violence. She would be filming, making a record for us to enjoy later, and I would go from strength to strength. as I devised new ways to inflict pain.

The leaders of the organisation watched our videos and moved us into one of their top active cells. This opened up a battleground of violence wilder than our wildest dreams.

We engineered a couple of riots, in sighting  football supporters until the fans began to fight each other, and organised marches to dissolve into civil disorder.

Then it happened, we were called into the inner circle meeting, to be briefed on the most ambitious attack ever to be attempted. Several militant organisations were coming together for this, and it was to be a spectacular massacre, that would cleanse the world of hundreds of bigots.

Every detail was planned and rehearsed with a military precision, we went over section by section until every member of the four cells involved knew their part perfectly.


It all started on a bus.

After my miraculous coming back to life miracle, Hamish and I were inseparable, but, inevitably, one day there was a clash of engagements. We made the unusual decision to accept both. Knowing the enemy, and his tactics, we knew to be on our guard all the time. As a couple Hamish and I are one, we are strong together.

We parted at the bus station.  I didn’t want to drive, it was a long journey and the coach would be relaxing.

I noticed a feeling of unease.

The miles rolled past. Chatterbridge dissolved into a memory as I watched a panorama of wintry fields, motorway embankments, and industrial estates, come and go.

I left the bus, and decided to walk the short distance to my hotel. I wasn’t due to speak at the conference until the following afternoon, so I didn’t feel under any pressure. On the map it was so close. However I got confused and found that I had no idea which way to go or where to take the right turn I needed. It was starting to get even colder, and I could feel panic welling up inside my stomach. “Lord I know You know where I am, please help me, guide me, to the Hotel.

Moving into position ahead of Sari, I was relieved when she spoke out the words, because for some time I had been aware of two Rakiel in the vicinity. They were on the bus and now they were jostling, whispering confusing directions into Sari’s ear. I thrust myself at them and they dispersed, covering their eyes and screeching angrily. The Iyer were on high alert.

It was incredible, no sooner had the words left my lips I spotted my hotel just across the road. As I moved to step off the curb I became aware of wimpering coming from a nearby doorway. I left my suitcase and went over to investigate. My eyes picked out the shape of a bundle of what appeared to be discarded clothes, but on closer inspection I could make out the figure of a child around six years old. He was huddled inside the step, and sounded exhausted from crying. The wailing probably stopped some time ago, all that emerged from his weary lips was a sound that pierced my heart.

“Hey there.” He jumped and pushed backwards as I knelt down in front of him.

“Don’t be frightened, I won’t hurt you. Where’s your Mummy?”I touched his head and he jumped up trying to push past me.

“Let me help you.”

He must have caught something in my voice and he hesitated. I put out my arms and he fell into them with an audible sigh.

The Hotel staff showed no concern. The receptionist looked horrified at my suggestion that we give the child a drink and some food, so I asked for the Manager. He was a small rotund person with fidgeting hands. He was equally unhelpful.

The boys name was Kieran and he was lost. He had gone to a dinosaur exhibition, there were lots of people, and suddenly he couldn’t find his Mum. After questioning the Manager, I found out where the Exhibition was, and decided to take the boy back there.

The Manager phoned for a taxi.

It was a massive building, and I felt my heart sink as we walked up the steps to go inside. The task seemed impossible. I silently asked the Lord to help us find Kieran’s Mum.

Seconds later he was yelling above the noise, “I was over here when I lost my Mum.”

We squeezed to the front of the exhibit. Mesmerised, he watched a thermometer being heated over a bulb, as it reached a certain temperature a dinosaur appeared inside the massive glass tube, and he jumped around laughing.

Suddenly I felt the crowd pressing us even more.

“Thank goodness! I thought I had lost you for good.”

Kieran grabbed a leg, and was then hoisted to a waist. I followed upwards and the tear streaked face of a young woman was beaming with relief.

After exchanging details, I invited them to come to the conference where I was going to speak..

The following day was grey, the sky overcast, releasing the occasional fluttering of snow. I found Kieran and Nadine waiting for me. The foyer was teeming with people, but eventually we managed to push through into a corridor, and I was able to explain to Nadine where to go, and arrange to meet them for lunch.

The organizers of the conference had asked me to speak about “Seeing with Spirit Eyes”, and I knew the Lord would give me the right words to say as I began my testimony.  I scanned the huge arena, swallowing nervously as the thousands of faces looked up at me. I silently prayed and handed my mouth over to the Lord.

It’s always amazing when I look back and try to remember what I’ve said. I know I shared about Hamish and myself, the story of our time abroad, and our three visitors. I spoke with awe at the way I was born, my dream, and the similarity of Issy’s dream. However, the words ringing in my ears with deafening clarity were, “Open your children’s eyes Lord. Let them see.” Over and over in my head as I walked from the platform to go for lunch.

Nadine and Kieran were laughing as they came towards me, “They were wonderful stories Sari. Do you really believe in all that stuff?”

I was about to reply when three angry figures suddenly grabbed us, shouting over our heads, to another figure holding open a fire door.

“Get to the car park, everything’s in place. It’s all secured.”

The three figures were now pushing us back towards the arena. As we stumbled forward I was again left with Kieran, his Mum was being forced away from us, and I soon lost sight of her among the masses panic.

“Dear Lord, what is happening? Please help us. Show me what’s happening.

I moved beside Sari and Kieran. This was a serious situation, we were on red alert, and yet outcomes from dire events amaze me all the time. I remember when Bara’s human presence, our beloved Jesus, died on the Roman cross, we all went into despair, and yet the end result was the most joyous outcome ever.

My instructions were to help Sari through this, and as I scanned the area I realized that it contained many Iyer and their human charges, all activated because the humans, like Sari, knew and loved Bara. I had also noted that we were outnumbered by the Raikyl, they were here in force, constantly whispering, taunting, the cause of fear and panic. Then I spotted the Shaden, they were in control of the men and women violently rounding up our people. Above us the legions of Tsaba were ready for battle with the Charash. It was a spectacular sight. This was a black place. The building had been sealed by the enemy.

I was instructed to open Sari’s spirit eyes.

Calm passed through my body and my fear and panic dispelled. Before me was the shimmering presence of a figure. I followed with my head as he indicated the wide picture unfolding before, and around me.

The masses of people became different groups, I could see right into them. One was an aggressive force herding us, a unit of dark shapes, inhabiting the bodies of the men and women, who, seemingly oblivious, were being directed and controlled. They were vicious and showed no compassion. Other people, had a central core of light, deep inside them, I could see this. Beside them, seemingly unable to help, were more shimmering figures, like the one close to me. I looked up, and completely filling the space above us were millions of huge elegant shapes, filled with a beautiful light, I gasped in awe. Others had nothing to depict their characteristics, just a pitch blackness, etched in green, their presence made me shiver.

Knowing something awful was happening, I looked for guidance from my shimmering companion. Our protection was coming from him, he was shielding us. The possessed people were lashing out randomly, and men, women, and children, were beaten to death or shot. The victims had a light, I watched as they died, their light dimmed and vanished. I attempted to keep Kieran’s gaze from the awful sights. He had stopped crying, the calmness covering me was also covering him, and as his eyes fixed upwards I understood that his eyes had been opened too.

I was pushed downwards, holding Kieran close to me, we stumbled to the floor. Glancing around, the huge arena had been partitioned with stands and curtains, forming contained areas filled with crying helpless people. Surrounding the areas were the unemotional and hard male and female guards. The platform where I had stood an hour before was a distant feature overlooking the scene. On it were an army of well trained individuals, black, hard, and unmoving.

In our area, just ahead, I saw the glint of metal. A woman emerged from behind our curtain, holding a knife dripping with blood. She dragged a woman and teenager to their feet and disappeared with them. I became aware of the sounds coming from everywhere. Every now and then I could pick out the words, “Say, ‘Jesus can’t help me now’.” The atmosphere was rigid with pure terror, hysteria, screams, panic, and fear. Each time the woman emerged we were moved forward.

Clear and distinct, audible above and through this wall of sound, was a familiar voice.

“Sari, you still have your radio mike. Switch it on and speak.”

“Open your children’s eyes Lord. Let them see.” The words were filling my mind and mouth as I carefully pushed the button.

“Open your children’s eyes Lord. Let them see. Look up, brothers and sisters, look around, do not be afraid, for the Lord your God is with you!”

The sound of my voice reverberated around the airwaves, punching into the darkness. I looked up, the army of light was overwhelming the army of darkness, swallowing them up.

My radio mike was snatched from me and I was hit hard on the mouth. My words were repeating, yet not my words, the voice was His voice. It was loud!

“Your eyes are open do not be afraid for I am with you.”

Men, women and children on the floor around me were silent, glowing, with eyes turned upwards they raised holy hands, and tilted their heads to listen.  Fear was driven from the building. The guards didn’t know what to do, they had no idea what was happening.

I was dragged to the front of our area and the woman with the knife came out. She had a strange look on her face. I was pushed around a partition, Kieran was still with me. The small space had two chairs, side by side. On each was a large piece of deep red cloth. We sat down. The woman wrapped the cloth around my head, it was wet and sticky.

Kieran was looking upwards and smiling. I lifted my head. Directly above us were the waiting hands. “We’re going home Kieran.”

We watched the slaughter as so many of Bara’s children died that day.

However the Shaden were not being gratified, they fed on fear and death, but today there was no fear. Yes they killed, but those who died were already with Jesus, in spirit, as they listened to His voice, and looked with spirit eyes into the spirit realm.

We were elated and Heaven prepared the welcome home party.

Heyel was shaking an earthquake of anger, Maveth was a place of fury, only eleven had been transported to Olam Sheol, out of the 2,356 who were killed.

Humans were in shock, the world was numbed by the massacre.


2008 – 2012  REPORT


Even before I got to the airport I was determined to hate this whole excursion. Oh yes I was glad to be getting away, things were very ‘hot’ after the killings, and I appreciated keeping a low profile, but going on a ‘Mission’ with a group of nerdy, boring people was the dumbest thing ever.

I kept myself away from the others throughout the flight, but when we landed contact was unavoidable. The bus, and I use the term loosely, was like something you would find in a scrap yard back home. The driver was small, old, and wrinkled, probably struggling to see and hear. Pushing through to the back I sat in the corner, and quietly ‘fumed’, desperate to be anywhere else but here. I pretended to be asleep.

Occasionally I opened my eyes slightly to see through the window. My ears were popping and I was horrified when the bus seemed to sweep over to a gravelly area which melted away into nothing and the biggest drop I had ever seen.  I swallowed hard and closed my eyes again.

Eventually we reached the boat. This was the second stage of our journey, and the huge river would deliver us to a remote village along its bank.

The boat was just as dilapidated as the bus and even my over enthusiastic companions were silenced.

I extricated myself and wandered down into the lower part of the vessel. Pulling back behind a greasy drum I could hear two men arguing. It could have been the tone of the language, I couldn’t understand, but they appeared to be arguing.

There was an awful smell everywhere, like rotting fish, and my eyes were led to a heap on the floor where one of the men pointed and shook his head. It was a massive dead fish. Mesmerised I watched them haggling. What looked like money was exchanged. Eventually two other men came along and pulled the fish into a net, and then, through a hole in the side of the boat, dropped the bundle into the water.

Bored, I wandered back. Just visible in the distance was a group of houses on the shore, we appeared to be moving towards them. Suddenly amid shouting and yelling, a scrimmage of activity produced the net and fish being pulled back out of the water and onto the deck. The locals were excited and looked very pleased. I was puzzled.

“Hey Dave.” Dave was our team leader. “Why are they pulling in a dead fish I saw them throw overboard just now?”

“Shhh!.” Dave hissed at me grabbed my arm and pulled me aside. “The men are not allowed to fish in certain parts of the river. They are killed if they get caught so they have to pretend the fish was from part of the river where they can fish.”

This all sounded stupid to me. I shrugged and walked off.

I could see the rest of the group chatting and laughing, and immediately felt a rush of anger as I imagined they were talking about me.

Two Rakiyl were whispering in Mel’s ear. They pushed and prodded her continually.

“What would Chad and Alex do if they were here?” “Bet you wish they were!”

“Alex would have a load to say, an’ not nice for these pretty idiots to hear. Imagine how shocked they’d be!” “Reccon Chad would soon have them gibbering for mercy!”

Mel was getting visibly agitated, we longed for a word from her so we could send these evil demons away.

I was livid, I was so angry I detested everyone and everything to do with this stupid trip.

When we landed the families we had been allocated were there to meet us. All of them were missionaries and lived out here helping the locals to establish trades, build schools, clinics, offer medical care, and teach the children. My family had a three year old daughter and I quickly understood that I was to be her Nanny! This wasn’t good! I hated kids! I hated them!

Ellie was like a leech. She put her chubby arms round my neck and refused to be prised away. Somehow I suppressed my anger, and by day two I was reconciled to the fact I was stuck here and had to make the best of it.

The family liked the novelty of my camera, and I suppose I enjoyed taking pictures of them and where they lived. It was my desire to take photos that prompted me to ask if I could take Ellie out with me so I could explore. I had to get away. There was no chance of me going alone, Ellie’s Mum and Dad were doctors and worked all day at the clinic.  I was amazed when they agreed.

They sketched a rough map of interesting places, and with my camera, Ellie, and a bag of food and drink we set off.

Because we were so high up and humidity was low, the sun was pleasant. Glancing at the pencil lines I headed us towards the water. This was deep into the hills, and showed a tiny settlement on the edge of a place where Ellie could paddle.

As we clamoured up the final embankment I was surprised to see something loosely akin to a shop. A woman dressed in jeans and a shirt was sitting on the veranda, she waved and shouted out to us in English. Ellie let go of my hand and rushed forward laughing, the woman swept her up and spun her around.

“Hi. You must be Mel.” Surprised she knew me I nodded.

“I’m Gail, and this is our attempt at local shopping provision.” She indicated the magazine rack full of well read books and glossy mags, and shelves containing home-made jams, preserves, salted meat and bread. Ellie had already snuggled up to the candy jar. “It’s not Tesco but at least we try.”

I have to say, I was impressed.

Dave and a guy called Tom rounded the corner. I hadn’t been interested in finding out anything about the rest of the people here with me, and they turned out to be Gail’s husband and son.

“Didn’t expect to see you out here Mel.  How are you getting on?” Dave was smiling.

“Came out to take some pictures, and thought Ellie could paddle.” To my surprise I sounded ‘normal’, having an ‘attitude’ didn’t seem to matter here, no one was impressed anyway.

Tom showed me the safe place for Ellie to paddle and it was perfect. I would be able to get some fabulous ‘shots’. The backdrop was breathtaking as the river wound through the base of a forest. There was a grassy knoll edging a waterfall that was gently flowing into a pool. Ellie knew the spot, she ripped off her shoes and socks, then gingerly tip toed into the cold water, giggling.

I didn’t even mind Tom staying to chat and play with Ellie.

It was a long time since I remembered feeling happy. There was no one to impress, no one to get angry with, and no violent agenda to consider. I could just be me. The trouble was I didn’t really know who I was. My life was a ‘mish-mash’ of negative emotions feeding the hatred, but here none of that seemed to matter.

Ezrath Shamir was keeping close to Mel. He was excited, he knew that no human was lost while they still had an opportunity, before death took them, to ask Bara for help and forgiveness.

We all felt relieved when Mel sought to go on this Mission. She had used it as a way of escape after the massacre, but we hoped it would be a way of getting through Heyel’s spiritual wall that surrounded her.

Somewhere deep within Mel the seed of light remained a dim glow, and when the truth of the terrible murders at the conference finally emerged her spirit responded momentarily. The police were closing in on the organisation. Alex was in custody. Mel knew she had to get away.

It was a happening typical of the Boss, when he enabled Mel to see the leaflet asking for help on a mission somewhere on the other side of the planet. This was her escape.

We all winced as she used Sari’s death, and her supposed grief to lie her way onto the team as a last minute addition.

We were on red alert, but things seemed to be going well, so the sight of Tsaba fighters caused me to move back into my observer’s position very quickly.

The Tsaba had engaged the Charash warriors and a battle was raging above the village where Mel and the team were staying. The village was being punished for buying illegal fish. This was the excuse, they really wanted to eliminate the Mission. On the ground, men and young boys in combat uniforms were killing everyone. Their machine guns blasted out a noisy chatter of death. People, men women and children were screaming, running for their lives and being cut down mercilessly in hails of bullets. The houses were systematically ransacked and then set on fire. No one was left alive. Heyel took twenty seven from this earthly hell into his, and thirty one were ushered into a welcome celebration by their Shamir’s. The fifty eight would be reunited at Shepha on the day of Judgement.

Tom grabbed Ellie and we both started to run. The sound of gunfire was distant as we covered the first mile, but then we realised it was getting closer. We knelt behind a large outcrop of rock as the first soldier reached the shop.

I didn’t feel a buzz, or the rush of adrenaline as the violence was played out before us. Sickness filled my throat, “Please God, help us. We need a miracle”

Ezrath Shamir was at last able to help, and moved between the trio and the killers. Ellie was gently silenced because her sobs would be heard. A teenager carrying a machine gun walked towards them. Ezrath shielded them from his view.

Tom was being comforted by his Shamir, he had just witnessed his parents being murdered.

The young teenager was getting closer. Suddenly he stood very still, a look of shock appeared on his face, he turned, yelling to the rest. They all looked in our direction and then ran away down the hill falling over each other.

I was struggling, there were so many emotions, the strangest being a sense of peace. This didn’t make sense to me.

For what seemed all my life I had thrived on violence, hatred and anger, yet here in such horrific circumstances I saw myself clearly for the first time. I wasn’t that person, I didn’t have to be that person, I could choose to be different. In that moment I caught a glimpse of Heyel and I shivered. I felt revulsion.

“Lord, help me, please help me.” I whispered the words and instantly Heyel was gone.

“I’m so sorry Lord, please forgive me.” Peace washed over me and I felt waves of love embracing my trembling body.

Tom was staring at me, and given the circumstances I was shocked to see him smiling.

“Tom, I’m so sorry. Your parents….”

He touched my arm. “It’s ok Mel, they love the Lord and I know where they are. I’m going to miss them but I know I will see them again. Praise God that you have found Him.”

Ellie was tugging at my arm. “Mel, Mel, look at that great big angel.”

She was pointing to a place just in front of us. I could see nothing.

Tom was still smiling. “That great big angel saved us Ellie. The soldier shouted out that giants were coming after them, that’s why they ran away. Thank you Lord for saving us.”

“Wow!” Ellie was mesmerised.

My knees buckled as I caught a glimpse of a large figure. There in the spirit realm where I had known such evil, was a force of goodness.

“Come on Mel, we’ve got to get out of here.”

Tom was incredible. He knew exactly where to go and hide and then where to go for help. We were smuggled out of the area by some local people who were very brave.

Ellie was distressed because she wanted her Mum and Dad. They had been slaughtered with everyone at the clinic. She couldn’t understand, and it was decided that she remain with Tom and myself until we got back to England.

Once the aircraft lifted from the runway we relaxed. Ellie was asleep between us so Tom reached over her and took my hand. I felt a rush of love well up inside me and I knew this was the man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.

Landing at Heathrow was such a relief. To be home, and safe, and happy.

Hand in hand with Ellie we faced the cameras, but when I saw Issy and Joseph standing just outside the barrier I ran forward and flung my arms around her neck. “Oh Issy I’m sorry.”

The spirit realm was dancing.

Chad was at the airport, waiting to grab Mel and whisk her away. Our instructions were to hide him and prevent him from mischief.

This was to be a wonderful time for Issy, Joseph, Mel and Tom.

In 2009 they had a double wedding on Issy’s 18th birthday. Mark Weaver the new Pastor of Chatterbridge Christian Fellowship performed the ceremony, and we were all there cheering and dancing.

Every week they would get together for a family meal. Issy and Joseph had a lovely cottage at the end of a twisting lane, and Mel and Tom lived with Hamish, now Sari was gone.

Mel and Tom applied to adopt Ellie. The bond between them was strong, and Ellie didn’t have any relatives who were able to look after her.

They all gave testimony alongside Hamish, travelling to worldwide conferences and meetings. Many came to know Bara because of them.

Some people didn’t understand their ministry, so the Boss removed them from the confines of their local church. There was division within it causing sadness and distress, some were distracted by the desire to build a big new building. Time was running out, what they needed to do was go and tell people the truth, to help them to see they needed a Saviour.

To see that Hell is real.

Issy Joseph Mel and Tom were hurt and upset at the murmurings against them. Members of the church felt they should be helping to raise money, not spending it travelling all over the place.

This was the Word of encouragement and promise, placed into their spirits……..

My Children…

Do not be swayed to the right or left My children. Trust in Me always and I will be with you. I will not let your feet falter. I will flow into your very being as you allow My Holy Spirit to work within you. Live within your spirit man, lock yourselves within his sanctuary, My armour of light is surrounding you, enclosing you in it’s safety. Keep not your eyes on this world, look beyond with spirit eyes into My eternal promise. I will be with you. I am your strength, I am your fortress, I am your victory. The victory is already secured, I have defeated the powers of this world, and the birth pangs of My new creation are beginning. All creation is crying out, the very stones are shouting out “NO MORE”.

I am listening, I have not forsaken you, I am coming.

Render unto the world all that belongs to the world, covet nothing. You will be required to give up everything, family, home, possessions, all the trappings of this world. Do not look back. As in the days of Lot – you must hasten where I lead you by the Spirit, not looking back but hastening quickly along the path He will direct.

I am your guide, I am your comfort, much will be required, but therefore much will be given in return to those who honour My Name.

My church will appear scattered, My body will appear torn apart, but each member of that body is joined to the Vine, and cannot be removed. The Holy Spirit who lives within My bride, maintains that single beam of light which surrounds all My children, and separates them from the world. With spirit eyes look from within that beam, and see a world in turmoil, yet you are not of this world, although at this time you are still living in it.

I am your fortress and your strength. I will never fail you, until, on the day the trump sounds, and I come as a blinding flash of light in the sky, you will lift your arms to heaven and be lifted into the ‘heavenlies’ to join Me.

The feast is prepared, the Bridal banquet is ready, be strong in adversity the time is nigh.”


Mrs. Glebe was in a hurry. She just had been stopped by Amy Cunliffe who passed on some interesting news, the Doctors wife and their four young children had left in the middle of the night.

She was going to be late. Her footsteps were impatient, yet her mind was racing even faster. Mrs. Glebe was a thinker, ordering snippets of information to share with anyone who would listen. This was a good story, and she relished the thought of this seemingly perfect woman and Mother being an adulteress.

Turning the corner in the lane she ranged her eyes over the drive seeing there were visitors at the house. The key clicked in the lock and to her surprise the house seemed unusually dark. Pushing the lounge door she noted the curtains still pulled shut, and the table lamp was switched on.

Her brow furrowed. It would be very inconvenient if they were all still in bed!

Climbing the stairs noisily she hoped to wake them up, but as the top step creaked her eyes darted to each door partially open and revealing empty rooms.

She went down to the Kitchen and sighed, there were dirty pots and bowls, cutlery and peelings.

As she filled the kettle, water sprayed up her arm, Ben the gardener had made her jump,

“Hey there, Mrs. G.  Hope you’ve got the kettle on!” He was pulling off his boots in the porch.

“Get in ‘ere Ben. Do you know where they to?” She gestured backwards with her head.

“Not seen ‘em. I’ve jus’ been gettin’ on with the sweepin’. They must be in bed.” He washed and dried his hands.

Mrs. Glebe shook her head, “There’s somethin’ funny goin’ on. This isn’t like them. Issy always clears up a bit, an’ why was the light still on in here? ”

“Tell you what Mrs. G. We’ll finish our tea an’ then ‘ave a good look round the ‘ouse.”

She nodded and said. “You ‘eard ‘bout Doc’s wife Ben?”

Even this delicious snippet of gossip and speculation failed to shake Mrs. Glebes growing unease. The house felt different.

I was aware of the Rakiyl whispering beside Mrs. Glebe and Ben. Fear began to dominate, and the two humans struggled with awful thoughts.

The green ethereal highway was tingeing every molecule in the room, it had a lime iridescence, and Shaden were everywhere.

This was a new experience for me, I could not intervene, I was unable to help, only observe.

Newly assigned Qual Piel Luminar had been despatched worldwide, everyone else had been recalled. My job was to record and watch every development.

Mrs. G. and Ben felt reluctant to move. Eventually they nodded to each other and slowly made their way out of the kitchen. The house was eerily quiet.

They searched the upstairs rooms first, keeping close to each other, their growing fear instilling terror at what they might find.

Issy and Joseph had left their bedroom dotted with evidence of their presence, however the duvet was neatly folded back at the foot of the bed, and the curtains were closed.

The guest room was neat, with a small bag of a toddlers clothing beside the single mattress. It was rumpled with and impression of a child’s shape, and a small brown bear was tucked in. On the double bed were a set of towels neatly placed on the crisp clean sheets. Sunshine filtered through the leaves of the walnut tree outside, and the window was half open.

In the bathroom were damp towels and Joseph’s discarded working clothes on top of the linen basket, but the shower hadn’t been used that morning.

Ben pointed to the study and they cautiously peered around the door. Mrs. G. let out a blood curdling scream and Ben leaped back surprised as Marigold, the fluffy orange cat made her escape.

Retreating downstairs there was one room left to investigate.

They went back into the kitchen and walked towards dining room. Ben pressured the handle carefully, and as he pushed forward there was a smell of burnt out candles. The room was dark, and smoky, Mrs. G. held her breath as she went over and scooped the velvet aside to open the window.

Issy’s beautiful oak table was resplendent with serving dishes of cold food, half full wine glasses, and four places indicating a meal that had not been finished. Issy loved candles, they were all burned down to the holders. There was wax, petrified in ripples at each base.

Nothing was disturbed. Four chairs, still positioned for a person to be seated, but draped with clothing, as if waiting to be filled out. Rings watches and jewellery nestled into the folds of the material. Four pairs of shoes were at each place, under the table.

Only a tear, brimming and falling, trespassed into the stillness of the room. Mrs. G recalled conversations with Issy and her finger nails cut into the palms of her hands. She had gone to church twice every Sunday, trying to be a good person, yet now, deep within her soul, she felt the wretched loneliness of someone who knew they had been left behind….. She knew, she knew before the worldwide breaking news confirmed it. She knew where the Doctors wife and children, Issy, Joseph, Mel, Tom and Ellie had gone.

Luke 17:34-35  ‘That night two people will be asleep in one bed; one will be taken away and the other left behind. Two women will be grinding flour together at the mill; one will be taken, the other left.’

1Thessalonians 4:17 ‘Then, together with them, we who are still alive and remain on earth will be caught up in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air and remain with Him forever.’

She knew the verses, and she now understood that Jesus is real, but she had never known ‘Him’ in the way they had all known Him.


John 14:15-18 (NIV)

If you love Me, you will obey what I command. And I will ask the Father, and He will give you another Counsellor to be with you forever – the Spirit of Truth. The world cannot accept Him, because it neither sees Him or knows Him, for He lives with you and will be in you. I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you.

The world was in complete panic after so many had disappeared. We watched as the people left behind created various scenarios, attempting to explain how millions of men, women and children had vanished in an instant, from every country in every corner of the earth.

There were also many others who knew exactly what had happened, they had lived ‘good’ lives, calling themselves Christians but never really knowing the ‘Boss’ at all. They were the ones we had been deployed for, and the ones who would come to understand the truth. Important work was beginning, and there would be many in need of our ministering skills.


My name is Mark Weaver. I moved back to my hometown of Chattabridge as the new Pastor of a local church in 2009.

Massacres of Christian at events all over the world were becoming commonplace, and no longer shocking the world. The initial massacre had touched my life through Sari, the impact was disturbing. My faith began to waver as I wondered how this God, my God, could be so cruel, allowing people who served him to be brutally killed. I had read about Sari and the incredible story that emerged from the slaughter, and here I was in leadership of the church where she and all her family had worshiped for many years.

I attended the same schools as Mel and Issy, not at the same time, because I am six years older than Mel. I left for Bible College, rarely going back, and only getting occasional snippets of Chatterbridge news from my Mum. To be honest I wasn’t interested, my life was going to be a self sacrificing venture, helping poor misguided souls in the far flung corners of the earth. My achievements gained me prestige and respect, allowing many lecturing tours, when I was able to use slides and testimonies of how well I had brought God to the poor and underdeveloped countries. Standing in front of so many people I could see how they were inspired by my words, and now I could have my own church, where I hoped I could influence and encourage my flock and build a huge church in a splendid new building.

To say I was shocked at the church and what it was doing is an understatement. Thankfully I found some of the congregation ‘like-minded’, despite some opposition, especially from the Abraham family and friends. The way they wasted money was criminal, globe- trotting and travelling all over Britain. This church needed some radical changes in practice, so with my experience of successful ministry it was obvious I was the man for the job. I braced myself, because I knew I would not be popular, but with the strong character I had forged over the years I never doubted that I could do anything.

Chatterbridge brought back so many memories.

I first met Jamie at school. We were so different. He was sturdy and pleasant, while I was small and ‘wiry’ with a huge ego and a nasty nature to make up for my diminutive stature. To make myself noticed and be ‘part of the gang’ I would dream up crazy stunts, and then, without one single thought for my life, execute the impossible.

An icy chill runs through me when I begin to remember some of the incredibly stupid things I did.

Standing on the railway line watching a train hurtle down the track towards me was perhaps the nearest I came to death. I froze, only as the noise and wind hit me did I find the mobility and leap to safety.

“Piece of cake!” I said.

They needn’t know how scared I was.

Jamie attempted to copy some of my stunts, trying to get ‘in’ with us. Somehow it never worked for him. I look back and thank the Lord for protecting myself and Jamie during this time. The eternal consequences for us both make me shake with horror.

I was seventeen when I decided to change my life. There was an open air mission at a rock concert, and initially my reaction to the speaker was one of contempt. How could a grown man subject himself to such humiliation? There was heckling, several drunken louts insisted on yelling abuse and insults, and the others with the speaker, handing out leaflets, were either ignored or pushed away. My intention was to join the disruptive group and make a nuisance of myself.

As I looked around for some of my pals, hoping to get them to join in the fun, I suddenly became aware of the words. The speaker’s voice seemed to lift up over the rabble of noise and for the first time I actually found myself listening to what he was saying,

“…….think about your own attitude. How would you rate yourself? You may remember the story in the Bible about the Good Samaritan, what were the attitudes of the people in that story? Which one is most like you?

To the expert in the law the wounded man was probably a story to discuss.

To the robbers, the wounded man was someone they could use and exploit.

To the religious men the wounded man was a problem to be avoided.

To the innkeeper, the wounded man was a customer to serve for a fee.

To the Samaritan, the wounded man was a human being someone to be cared for and loved.”

The speaker went on to say much more but I wasn’t listening, I can now remember what he said, but I was so wrapped up in myself, the impact of the words failed to reach me. If I had kept my ears open how different my life would have turned out. These are the words I allowed to be blocked out,

“ To Jesus all of them were worth dying for, just as He died for all of us.

Jesus used the Samaritan in the story to show us how someone despised by society could have a better attitude than supposedly upright members of that same society.

Be honest with yourselves which one are you?

Do you need to learn who your neighbour really is?

To Jesus all of them were worth dying for, just as He died for all of us.”

My selective hearing focussed on the Samaritan and not Jesus, I was on fire with pictures of me, helping poor needy people. Everything in my life changed from that moment, I threw myself into a new purpose, I would help God do His work on earth.

I had so many questions and so much to learn. Life had meaning, and for the next few months I became a recluse, avoiding my old haunts. I read all I could about Missionaries.

I went to a church in Upper Bridgenorth, it supported ten Missionaries around the world, unlike Chatterbridege Christian Fellowship who only had two.

Life was wonderful.

Once I had committed my life to becoming a Missionary I was accepted and completed a Theology Degree, and then I travelled all over the world, to remote villages, helping the needy and fulfilling my, self image, of the ‘Good Samaritan’.

I met Jamie again, many years later.


Jamie Parkin was finding it difficult to bear the pain. It was chaos in the hospital, they were short staffed because people had disappeared. For a week now he had been desperate for treatment, and news of his family.  He screwed up his eyes trying to shut out the reality of his situation. He was only young and yet here he was, lying in a hospital bed, dying before he was ready to die, wondering why he had been left behind.

“Come on Mr.Parkin, roll over if you can. This will help the pain.”

He cringed at the indignity of his buttocks being exposed to a stranger. Even though he had been in hospital for several weeks, he could not get used to this.

The nurse quickly administered the injection and within a few minutes he felt himself being released from the coiled tentacles of agony strangling his stomach.

It was strange, he thought the drugs would make his mind fuzzy and unclear. This was not the case. The thoughts were clear, ordered and sedate. Everything about him was calm and focused. What had been the point of his life’?

Smiling, he thought of his family, twin sons, a daughter, and a wonderful wife who had been so strong, for them both.

He drifted back to his childhood, seeing the red brick house nestling between a garage and open fields, and he could smell a bonfire, hearing it crackling and seeing it smoking heavily at the top of the garden. His Grandfather raked more dried branches and leaves, piling them onto the flaming mound of orange, yellow and red.

Working steadily without speaking, they collected them from below the autumnal trees and bushes around the hedges. This was a happy time. Jamie loved being with his Grandad.

Grandad just accepted him, never asked lots of questions and most importantly, he listened to him when he had something to say. Grandad never laughed at him and Jamie could share secrets, and talk about things he would never dare talk about to his parents.

Nan was kind as well, but she fussed over him, and he hated being fussed over.

The sun was shining in watery strands, through the fluffy clouds scooting across the sky as the late September wind chased them. Looking up Jamie breathed in the smoke filled air, shuddering as he remembered that it was nearing the time he must set off on his bike for home. The teacher training day was a wonderful bonus, an extra day onto the weekend, but it made facing school even worse, a bit like after the holidays. Being away from it, made him realize how much he hated school.

“Come on Jamie lad, stop day dreamin’. Only a few more an’ then we can go an’ have a drink an’ cake.” Grandad gave Jamie a gentle nudge.

Jamie jumped, and Grandad thought how nervous his grandson was.

The journey home was filled with memories of the delicious chocolate chip buns, which melted in your mouth, and the home made ginger beer his Nan was famous for.

Lost in these thoughts Jamie didn’t see the group of lads, part of a tough gang he had tried to join. He had desperately wanted to belong, and winced as he remembered some of the things he did to impress them. Nothing worked, they laughed at him. Now here they were on the bridge, whispering and pointing toward him. Suddenly he felt a sharp pain in his chest, another on his arm and another on his leg. The boys, at least twelve of them, were pulling up the cats eyes from the centre line in the road, and hurling them at him.

They were hard, effective missiles, forcing Jamie to stop and protect his head and body. When he stopped, they moved in.

Three of them lifted the front wheel of Jamie’s bike, while the others watched, and Jamie was hurled into the road.

He could only imagine what would have happened next. Fortunately a middle-aged man, who was too big to argue with, yelled at the attackers, “Hey! What d’ yer think you’re doin”? Get out of it now yer little’ooligans!”

The gang ran off. They had taken Jamie’s bike.

“You alright lad’?”

Jamie rubbed his stinging arms and chest. His voice was wobbling as he said he was fine.

The man helped him up from the road and took Jamie to a video shop at the end of the street and from there he telephoned the police.

Jamie’s bike was found in a hedge bottom.

Because the police were involved Jamie was made to suffer. School was bad enough before, but now it was unbearable. He was called names. No-one wanted to have anything to do with him, even the teachers thought he was just a moody, unpopular pupil.

Comprehensive school remained a lonely place. Any friends he made, usually new youngsters who hadn’t been told to keep away from him, always ended up making the, “I’m really sorry Jamie. You do understand don’t you’? They’ve threatened to beat me up.” speech.

Then Jamie met Elizabeth. He had seen her around with her small group of friends.

The bullies didn’t bother them. When tormented they never rose to the bait, so for the bullies it was pointless, no fun at all. They never fought back.

Everyone recognised they were different. Jamie had no desire to find out why, he had enough problems of his own without adding more to the list of things the bullies could torment him with. On this memorable day, Jamie remembered feeling the wire of the fence penetrating through his blazer material. He had backed away as far as he could go to avoid contact with the bicycle pump being thrust violently into his face.

“I know it’s hard, but just try to ignore them.” Elizabeth’s voice was soft and gentle. She put a hand on his arm and he felt her genuine concern wash over him.

“Come on, meet my friends.” She carefully steered Jamie through the jostling bodies and he found himself facing two other youngsters.

“This is Robert and this is Ruth.” Elizabeth introduced them. They smiled at him.

Jamie felt awkward, recalling, when he was trying to be popular, he had insulted and tormented Robert about his bright red hair, joining in the jibes and nasty remarks. Jamie blushed and didn’t know what to say.

Robert grinned and said with a laugh, “Everyone jokes about my hair. I don’t let it bother me.”

Jamie was amazed. He seemed to read his mind

On that day Jamie was given back some happiness at school. They became his very good friends….


Jamie never really became one of them. He would have loved to share their amazing qualities of kindness and gentle love for everyone, even towards the bullies who were so vile. Sometimes he thought they were a bit weak but didn’t say so.

They tried explaining their faith to him, he was always too busy. He said “Yes” and “No” in the right places, feeling too embarrassed for questions.

Jamie felt different to other teenagers. Confidence was not one of his strongest assets and the fact he had unusual parents didn’t help. A lot of the youngsters parents were divorced, separating, separated, living together or single parent families, but at least their jobs were “normal”. Having artistic parents, a Dad who was a sculptor and a Mum who was a writer, made Jamie the odd one out. The fact they weren’t married didn’t matter, they used professional names, both different to Jamie’s. Home was not conventional, they lived in a rambling old house where extroverts and eccentric people came back and forth with alarming regularity, seen by the small community as a “strange bunch” to be avoided.

Being the only child Jamie mixed with adults from an early age, communicating well in older company. Sadly he failed to relate to his peers, they resented his maturity and were unable to appreciate or understand his dry humour.

While his own age group were concerned with football, girls and the latest trainers, he was at home taking part in lively debates, on subjects ranging from the New Age Movement to Communism. Jamie could argue a “mish-mash” of opinions to contradict or agree, without ever understanding the reality of the subject.

In a typically non-conformist way his parents also encouraged a “dabbling” into the unknown. It was almost the Christmas holidays, a time Jamie dreaded because they celebrated the winter solstice. Grandad and Nan didn’t like that at all and insisted he go and stay with them after the twenty-first. He loved the normality of those days, a warm house, a wonderful decorated tree, splendid food and lots of gifts, and no parents to spoil his dreams with their earthy realities. He recalled with sadness the year when his illusions about Father Christmas had been shattered by them when they laughingly told him to “grow up” and “get real”. Nan and Grandad always made it such a special time, Nan said it was a time when people were nice to each other. He had wished that Christmas could last all year round.

It was the twentieth of December and already the house was filling with trendy people. There were six of them, each one like his parents, having the same mannerisms, exaggerated gestures, and over expressive dominant voices. Danny was around thirty, she was a woman with short cropped hair, always wearing male suits with waistcoats. She would pass as a man at first glance. Her voice was deep, pausing after a few words to stare intently at her audience before continuing. Jo was a dark haired pretty girl. Jamie preferred her to the others. He couldn’t understand what the relationship was. They shared a room, but he didn’t think Danny was her Mother, she was always draping herself around Jo and kissing her. He felt sure a mother wouldn’t behave like that. It was very odd. Because he liked Jo, he refused to believe she was a lesbian.

The remaining four were men.

Jamie understood their situation, he had been told they were gay,

“After all Jamie, they have as much right to be together as a man and a woman. Don’t ever let us hear you being narrow minded about it, we’ve all got to live together in this world. They are great people .”

He wasn’t sure about them. Jamie had an intense dislike of Jake, one of the older men. They had stayed at the house on several occasions, each time Jake would lavish attention on Jamie. His partner, Kai, would pout and throw nasty glares in their direction. Very awkward and unpleasant.

Toby and Joss were unique. It was like watching a video in slow motion. Everything about them was lethargic, even the way they spoke. They had eyes only for each other and were rarely apart. It made Jamie feel sick. Jamie suffered guilt because of his feelings, he kept remembering he should not be prejudiced, but it wasn’t easy.

“Jamie darling, come down, we’re going to try and raise some ancient spirits”.

Lilith was eager to include her son, as she felt it was important he realized how powerful some of the sources of energy were.

“Jamie, come on!” Her voice was getting an edge to it.

“Alright, I’m coming Lil”.

That was another thing ‘different’, his parents insisted he call them by their first names.

“Mum and Dad is so frumpish,” they told him when he began to understand that other children had a Mum and Dad, not a Lil and Con.

The large kitchen was dominated by flickering black shadows, elongated and quivering, as the candle flames responded to his passing.

Jamie sat between Danny and Seth, who were excitedly chatting to the others around the oak table in the centre of the room.

“At last!” Exclaimed Conrad, (or Con for short as Jamie’s Dad preferred).

“Right everyone, let’s find the mood. Finger lightly on the glass and concentrate.”

Jamie had a strong desire to laugh. They were all so serious. He’d done this before, it was a trick. The glass predictably began to weave about and Jamie tried to see who was pushing it.

Slowly and insidiously a cold chill crept along Jamies nerve endings. This wasn’t funny, he wanted to stop, yet he could not speak or move.

“We’ve reached out and touched a power.” Lil whispered, “I can feel it.” Her voice was distant.

Sickness pumped up from the pit of Jamie’s stomach. A taste of bile in his mouth caused him to wretch. Evil tendrils of tangible force seemed to be wrapping around the boy. He shivered, suddenly cold, yet his clothes were sticking to him as he perspired. Scanning the room his eyes searched, terrified of the lurking beasts he felt were there, but forced to look.

They should stop.

He wanted to scream.

He was more afraid than he had ever been before .

Didn’t they feel it too?

He dragged his vision back to the circle. Their faces were given surreal qualities by the subdued lighting. Excitement gleamed fanatically from their wild eyes. Lil and Joss seemed to be in some sort of hysterical state, like a frenzied trance.

The candle flames were darting and dimming


T A B L E  F I N G E R S  T H U M B S


The glass slid effortlessly from letter to letter.

Mesmerised they did as they were instructed, then almost as one they gasped.

The room was plunged into darkness.

Jamie was terrified, he could taste and feel his fear squeezing him. Involuntarily he snatched away his right hand, fumbling to locate and switch on the pencil torch in his pocket.

“Jamie”‘ Lil’s eyes were flashing. “How could you, this was the closest we’ve ever been. Go to your room. NOW!”

With brimming eyes, feeling afraid and hurt, he ran from the room and upstairs.

He could hear her, “I’m so sorry, I don’t know what gets into the boy. He’s so stupid sometimes.”

Jamie left his bedroom light on all night. He cried because he was scared, and because     no-one came to see if he was alright. He badly needed a hug.

In the daylight, and once back at school the incident was re-counted to Liz, Ruth and Robert. He exaggerated his own part and didn’t mention the torch. Being so involved with the telling of the story, Jamie failed to notice the horrified expressions on the faces of his companions.

“Jamie, stop!”

He looked at them properly for the first time. Liz grabbed his arm and started to shake it.

“Promise me you will never do anything like that again. It’s so dangerous Jamie. It’s evil and it’s wrong.”

“Don’t be daft.” Jamie broke away and gave a feeble half hearted laugh.

“Please Jamie, promise us you won’t do it again.” Robert added his voice to the plea.

“Oh alright. I don’t suppose they would let me anyway after I ruined things for them.” Jamie shrugged. Why were they making such a fuss?

They did explain but he wasn’t listening.

The GCSE and then two years later the A Level results were much better than anyone expected of him. He had to admit Liz Robert and Ruth had pressed him into working. They had revised together.

He was going to miss them when they went their separate ways.

Robert was off to Bible College with Mark. This really amazed Jamie because Mark was a rebel, daring to do anything and someone to be feared. However the previous year Mark changed, he became a different person, and now he was going to Bible College with Rob. Ruth and Liz were leaving to join the London City Mission. Jamie felt a tinge of regret and hoped he would meet people like them in Bristol where he had a place at the University.

His move into the halls of residence caused little impact at home. Thinking his Nan and Grandad would miss him more than his parents he suddenly realised he was feeling homesick for them. Con and Lil said there wasn’t enough time to go and say goodbye to them properly. He was to regret this more than he could appreciate, when, in late November his Nan had a stroke and died within two days. Jamie was preparing to leave for her funeral when news came that his Grandad had suffered a massive heart attack and died in the early hours of the morning. Devastation and grief washed over him. There were so many things he wanted to say to them, and now it was too late.

Deep in his mind he tried to remember what Liz said when her Mother died after a long illness the previous year

“I don’t feel sad Jamie, at least not for my Mum, she’s gone home to be with Jesus, and I will see her there one day when I leave this world. I must admit I do feel sad for me – she was my best friend and I shall miss her, but, I have the sure knowledge that I will see her again.”

The words rattled around in Jamie’s mind.

His Nan and Grandad didn’t go to church.

They said they were Christians, they were good people and…  “you didn’t need to go to church to be a Christian.”

Nan would usually add in a condescending voice,  “Half the people who go to church are just hypocrites anyway.”

Jamie wondered if they had gone ‘home’, he couldn’t be as sure as Liz, but he hoped so.

Now that his Grandparents were gone Jamie found going back for the holidays too much of an ordeal. He got a job as a waiter in an Indian restaurant. It was poorly paid, but he could eat regularly, the food was free.

Elizabeth kept in touch. He didn’t always answer her letters but he had promised to go and visit her and Ruth after his finals.

“Oh Jamie just look at you! I like the beard.”

Liz gave him a huge hug and stroked the dark tangle of chin hair.

In his head he was saying “WOW!” over and over again. Liz had always been like a sister to him. Ruth still was but he had very different feelings towards Liz now he had seen her again, they were not brotherly. It was three years since their farewells, and the letters gave no indication of the transformation from a plain awkward girl to this lovely woman in front of him. He was not prepared for this.

Laughing and confidently taking his arm, Liz flashed him another of those gorgeous smiles, her blue eyes danced and glittered with life. She had never smiled like that before.

Pleased he had come on this visit, he realised he was interested in Liz, and he allowed his imagination to sprint ahead into what he hoped would become a physically satisfying relationship. The girls at university had come and gone with a frequency belying his unsettled searching for happiness. None of them made him feel good for long. After the usual under-sheet pursuits he rarely thought of them again.

He didn’t think it would be any different with Liz. She would be a pleasant diversion until he went back to complete a PGCE year. The world would be his ‘oyster’ then. He planned to go abroad and travel using this teaching degree to get him work when he needed it. Perhaps if he visited some mystical sites he would find some of the answers to his many questions about life. He may even find happiness.

They caught the tube and were soon exchanging  news over cold drinks in the girl’s small bedsit. Jamie had noted with interest the twin beds and the double sofa/ bed they were sat on.

“In case you were wondering Jamie, we’ve arranged for you to sleep in the bedsit opposite with two of the guys from the mission. Pete and Jack are great. I’ll take you over to meet them when they get back from the soup run.”

With a hot flushed face Jamie felt guilty. It felt as though Liz knew what he was thinking. Somehow that disturbed him. He didn’t want Liz to know he could think such carnal thoughts.

“Wow again!” That was a ‘first’ for Jamie!

The girls at university never minded how crude things got and he didn’t consider they might find it embarrassing. Liz was different. For her he would be different.

At Bristol Jamie met a group of students who reminded him of Liz, Ruth and Robert. They were unlike the other rowdy students, yet they always seemed to be having a good time together. They were caring, considerate, and trustworthy people, to be relied on. He spent some time with them at first, but they didn’t go to the pub, nightclubs and parties, so he only saw them in the common room or library. He once asked them where they went for “kicks” and he was invited to join them at the Christian Union. Throughout his four years at Bristol he failed to take them up on their invitation, even though they asked him many times.

Jamie had a wonderful five weeks with Liz and Ruth. He also saw Robert who was working in London too, on a door to door mission before his final year at Bible College. The work they all undertook was interesting, but Jamie eventually got bored, so he decided to go sightseeing and explore the more exciting areas of London.

The four of them would meet up around four thirty and exchange stories about the days’ happenings.

Liz and Jamie were mutually attracted.

Liz was quite firm about the relationship and she told Jamie that he had to accept her feelings about a physical relationship before marriage, otherwise they would just remain friends. Knowing he was deeply in love, Jamie respected Liz, and for the first time he was experiencing a shared love that went beyond the physical notions of what he thought love to be. It was wonderful, it made him determined to ask Liz to be his wife once he had completed his final exams. All ideas of a world trip were gone. Jamie wanted a life with Liz, more.

They became engaged and married after a year. Courtship was snatched briefly between London and Bristol.

Jamie had enjoyed the experience of attending Liz’s church. It wasn’t at all how he imagined. For instance there were no men in flowing robes, talking in a way he could never understand, and performing rituals that seemed pointless. The minister wore an ordinary suit and tie. Jamie actually followed what was being said and felt he understood some of it. The Pastor read from the Bible, they sang lively hymns, and a Bible passage was explained with an application for life. The people were nice too. Not what he had expected.

For a few months after their marriage, to Liz’s delight, Jamie went with her to the services. His job required some weekend workshops and after a time, he found, when Sunday was a free day, he preferred going for a game of darts and a drink at the local pub.

Liz talked to him about salvation. He was embarrassed.

Eventually he could nod and shake his head in the right places without actually listening. When he did hear ‘snatches’, he thought, “Perhaps one day. There’s plenty of time.”

Lil and Con, Jamie’s parents, kept a low profile. They thought Liz was a novelty at first, then, they “found the whole religious “clap-trap” too much!”

When the twins, Simon and Peter, were born, their Grandparents adored them. As the boys grew they tried to influence them and later their younger sister Sarah, claiming, “They need to be given a full picture of all the roads leading to a god – if there is a god. At least they can choose for themselves.”

Liz worked hard to protect them from Con and Lil. Jamie was too busy advancing his career.

The years seemed to have gone, with little to mark their passing. Life was work, more work, with the extra hours slowly eroding family time.

Jamie enjoyed his job, he liked working with teenagers. Sometimes he felt angry, sad, helpless, or frustrated when they came to him with an assortment of problems. It was horrifying. The emotional ‘roller coaster’ sixteen to eighteen year olds’ were on, was not helped by the attitudes and often the abuse of some parents. It never occurred to him that his own teenagers at home might need his help and advice, or that he knew more about the youngsters in his tutor group, than he did about his own children.

Pete and Sarah went to church meetings and had a group of lovely friends. If Jamie hadn’t remembered at the last moment, he could easily have missed Sarah and Pete’s Baptism. Liz had droned on and on talking excitedly and he had ‘switched off’ during the early stages.

When the day finally arrived, Sarah would not let him leave the house unless he promised to be at the church by two o’ clock. She gave him a lavender handkerchief with a knot in it. He was at the bar ordering yet another round when his fingers touched the knotted material in his pocket. It was one forty-five as he made his excuses and drove hurriedly to the church near their home.

Jamie had never experienced anything like the Baptisms. Later he dismissed the strong emotions saying he was just a proud parent. Simon wasn’t there, he despised Pete and Sarah. He was a strange young man, always moody, forever banging around the house scowling. His family never saw his friends, but Simon took them to his Grandparents house, they thought Lil and Con were “really cool.”

One day Jamie looked long and hard at Liz. Where had their marriage gone? He still loved Liz, she hadn’t altered, but somehow over the years he had drifted away from her. Counting up the hours he discovered he spent more time with his colleagues and students than with his own family. These thoughts made him focus on himself and he began to realise he was not feeling too well. A nagging pain had been persisting, bothering him, and lately it seemed to be getting worse. Jamie asked Liz to book an appointment at the surgery.

He was anxious about seeing the doctor again. Over the years visits were rare, Jamie was always healthy.

“Come in Mr. Parkin. Sit down. I’ve got the results of your test.”

Perching nervously on the edge of the dark blue chair Jamie sat alongside Dr. Davies who was behind the modern desk and computer unit. He rustled the green and pink forms in his hand and took a deep breath. It was at this moment Jamie knew something was wrong.

The following ten minutes were a blur, a vague memory so unpleasant he wanted to block it out and pretend it hadn’t happened. Three months of life left. Four, perhaps five, if he was lucky!

In the car on the way home he remembered his Nan and Grandad and wondered if he would see them again. He shrugged his shoulders, he just didn’t know.

What was true was the fear he felt welling up inside him. What would it be like to die?

The car seemed to find its own way into the garage.

Liz opened the back door with her usual smile and wave.

A lump rose in the back of Jamie’s throat and he felt choked. Tears streaming down his face he began to tremble, yet he couldn’t unclench his fingers from around the steering wheel.

“Jamie, are you alright?” Liz moved towards the car. She stiffened when she saw Jamie sobbing uncontrollably. He looked at her through bleary eyes.

They moved into the warmth of the cosy kitchen and sat at the table holding hands.


“It’s a girl Mary, a fine healthy girl.”

Smiling the Doctor wrapped the warm bundle in a linen sheet and placed the murmuring new born baby in her mothers’ arms.

“Oh Matthew look, She’s perfect. Our daughter. Thank you God for blessing us and answering our prayers.”

They both said “Amen” together.

Matthew was so full of love for his wife and new daughter, he found speaking difficult, yet he wanted to shout and tell the world how good God had been to them. They had been married for fifteen years, they prayed for a baby. The specialists all said they should adopt or foster. The pregnancy had been months of trusting God and praying the child would be healthy, so this wonderful birth was the answer to their prayers and waiting. Each birth is its own miracle, this one was especially so.

The baby thrived. They decided to name her Elizabeth. She was a beautiful child, growing in ‘grace’, and responding to the loving Christian home. Mary and Matthew adored her. They thrilled to see her accept Jesus as her Saviour.

Liz loved her Mum and Dad, they were gentle Christians, who glorified God daily, in the way they lived their lives, resting in His care. From an early age Liz read her Bible, eager to find out more and more about Jesus. She loved Jesus. Not in the same way she loved her Mum and Dad but in a more ‘intimate’ way. Jesus knew everything there was to know about her, He knew her thoughts her needs, her most secret ideas. He was her friend, her best friend, who would always be there for her, and would never let her down.

Set apart from the junior buildings, the infant school was small with a friendly family atmosphere. Both teachers went to Liz’s church and several children, before starting school, had attended the church playgroup and the Holiday Bible Club for a week in the summer.

As their Mums were good friends Liz and Ruth were companions from birth. Including school each day they also went to Sunday School and the Friday Club held at the church. They also played at each others’ houses.

Because school echoed the character and behaviour of the Christian philosophy, they both found it to be a safe, secure place. They had lively assemblies and sang action songs used in Sunday School. Mrs. Harris and Miss Lowe were kind, gentle, fair, and yet strict. The children must behave well, be caring, considerate, valuing others. Get Well cards were made and sent home to any poorly children or staff. Birthdays had special birthday prayers. ‘Smiling’ was a gift to give to someone else. If you made another person sad, unhappy or cry, it was your responsibility to make them feel better when you said sorry. Parents and visitors to the school felt surprised, the caring and general respect for each other was a joy to behold.

Liz remembered when David moved into the area. His previous school experience was at a large school. The classes had over thirty children in them. When David left his teacher was still unable to put names to faces. This new school was a shock. There were only eighteen children in his class, and only forty in the whole school. It was difficult to ‘get away’ with anything! His rudeness, bad behaviour, and aggression were soon ‘jumped on’ by the staff. In the playground the children let him know they did not like his treatment of Stuart, when David laughed at him because of the way he walked. The peer pressure and caring environment produced a change so dramatic in David, his parents were thrilled.

When Liz moved to the Junior School her days began to change from the easy and uncritical time of friendships, to a gradual understanding of how cruel children can be to each other.

Ruth and Liz always seemed to be on their own, yet rarely left alone. They were teased and tormented by one or two who always attracted and encouraged followers to join the ‘fun’. Until that time Ruth and Liz had been happily living their lives within their church. No other children in their year went to church.

The church part wasn’t a problem it was having ‘different’ attitudes.

Everything started to go wrong at school when two older boys and three girls decided to pour treacle into Mrs. Blowers’ shoes. Each day their teacher would arrive at school in stout walking boots, she changed into a pair of sensible brown shoes before assembly. The shoes were kept in the ‘walk- in’ storeroom at the back of the classroom. Whilst the rest of the class kept watch the five perpetrators would spoon black treacle into both shoes, before Mrs. Blower arrived.

“It’s got to be all of us together. No ‘snitchin’ an’ no tellin’, no matter what. Understand?”

Robbo the self appointed spokesman glared around the room with a menacing expression on his face. All the youngsters were afraid of him, he was a bully, so as he scanned the faces he felt confident.

“Er’ excuse me Robbo. I don’t think that’s a very nice thing to do.” Liz spoke out in a loud clear voice. “Would you like someone to do that to you’?

Before she could finish her sentence, Robbo, and Janet who was one of the three girls, pranced about in front of Liz and Ruth.

“Oh dear, oh deary deary me. Not very nice.” They mimicked Liz. Suddenly Janet grabbed one of Liz’s plaits and pulled her by her hair to the front.

“Let me go. Let me go, you’re hurting.” The more Liz wriggled the tighter Janet gripped.

“This is what happens to silly little girls who think we’re not very nice.” Janet took a pair of silver scissors from the rack on the teachers desk, and cut through Liz’s right plait. She tossed the lower six inches into the waste paper basket.

There was a loud gasp from the onlookers.

Liz was shocked. All she could think of to say was, “You awful girl. Well I suppose you may as well cut off the other one, at least then they’ll match.”

The whole class erupted into laughter. This was not the reaction Janet had expected. Becoming red in the face she shouted angrily, “Shut up. Shut yer’ mouths all of yer’.”

The two other girls and boys, slipped out of the door, leaving Janet to face the jeering crowd.

“I’ll do yer’. I’ll do yer’ all. Stop laughin’, this no good cow won’t make a fool of me. I’ll get yer’ little Miss Goody Two Shoes.” She pushed her way out and ran down the corridor.

Mary and Matthew were proud of their daughter and the way she had reacted, although everyone was shocked when the truth emerged about her hair. No-one put treacle in Mrs. Blowers’ shoes, but from that day Ruth and Liz were ‘set apart’ from the rest of their peers. The bullies avoided them because they didn’t want to look fools the way Janet had. Everyone else appeared to keep a distance. They knew Ruth and Liz were different. However, when they had a problem, individually, unknown to each other, many of them sought out Liz or Ruth to share their worries, knowing they would listen and not laugh at them or gossip.

At the secondary school Liz and Ruth were joined by Robert. He had attended a different primary school, but they knew him from church. The three of them were excellent friends.

Liz remembered clearly the first time she had seen Jamie. He was pressing his back into the wire fencing, as if he thought he could go through it. Several fourth year boys were jabbing him with a bicycle pump and generally tormenting him. Without hesitating Liz walked calmly across the playground, and, ignoring the bullies she stood in front of Jamie, her back towards the surprised group. She smiled and took hold of Jamie’s arm.

“Come on. I’ve got some friends over here who would like to meet you.” Jamie allowed her to lead him away through the crowd and over to where Ruth and Robert stood waiting.

He became part of their friendship, but always refused to join with them in fellowship. He did not respond to any of their testimonies or to their regular invitations to join them at church with their youth group.

Liz was an enthusiastic Christian. She loved the youth group, and she loved the summer camps. Eventually she helped her Mum at Children’s Church.

The other teenagers at school were so afraid of everything, afraid of being laughed at, afraid of being ‘different’, afraid of failing, afraid of ‘things’. They were always talking about television ‘soaps’, wanting the latest fashion in clothes and shoes, hair and make-up, desperate for their own T.V’s, videos’, phones and computers. Yet, none were really happy.

Liz could have cried for them. She longed to help, but, as soon as she started to talk about her faith and Jesus, they would make excuses, walk away, look embarrassed or even laugh. She was invariably left standing on her own. It was so sad.

When remembering these teenage years, Liz’s thoughts would wander towards her Mum. It was during this period her Mum became ill and had long time fighting to get better. It was awful feeling inadequate, knowing at the same time, prayer was a vital element. They all prayed together holding hands, Liz on one side of the bed and her Dad on the other. Their prayer time, asking for healing grace, always ended with the simple words,

“If this is your will Lord.”

Her Mum did not regain her health and she eventually died, totally at peace, resting in her faith, sure and secure in the knowledge that she was ‘going home’ to Jesus.

If anything re-enforced Liz’s’ faith it was the dignity of her Mothers’ last hours with them. Although weak she managed to talk of the joy and excitement rising up inside her as she anticipated going to ‘Glory’. At one point her eyes brimmed with tears as she looked at them both knowing she was soon to leave them. She would be fine, she would be released from the ties of being bound to earth, but Liz and Matthew had to stay and struggle on, until they too joined her for eternity.

Liz and Matthew cried when Mary died. They cried because they knew how much they would miss her. Daughter and Father also embraced each other, laughing with joy, knowing with certainty, Mary was ‘home’, perfect in every way, no longer in pain, to rejoice forever with the Lord.


When Liz reflected on this time she felt it would have been so good for Jamie. If he could have met her Mum, seen her during her illness and listened to her, not even Jamie could have ignored her tremendous faith.

Marys’ funeral was a testimony of Christian beliefs. Each person in the fellowship family shared memories of Mary and gave thanks and praised the Lord, she was now where she belonged, with Jesus. Everyone felt the joy and peace in the church. The atmosphere was so potent even the non­believers were affected.

If only Jamie could have been there, perhaps he would have made a commitment.

When Liz was Baptised she tried to ‘share’ the experience with her class in one of their informal discussions. Mr. Pugh the teacher actually laughed openly and said, “One day Liz you’ll look back on this and put it into context. Something you had to do, and go through, to find the ‘real’ you.”

Only Ruth and Robert understood the significance.

G.C.S.E’s and then A Levels were upon her and gone. Once more she observed the struggle with nerves and reliance on ‘self’, of her peers. They were so stressed. She tried to tell them how simple it was to trust in God, to hand over the burden of worry to Him, accepting and allowing God to direct your life. The peace was incredible. If only they would listen.

“I’m going to miss you Jamie”. Liz smiled at his solemn face. He was off to Bristol on a Maths degree course. She would soon be leaving with Ruth to join the London City Mission. Robert was going to Bible College. This was the crossroads where each went their own way.

Mission work was tiring but very rewarding and three years soon passed. Liz had kept in touch with Jamie, although his letters were sparse and few. She had talked to Ruth and Robert hoping to set up a reunion in the holidays after Jamie completed his degree.

Her face seemed to be burning. Amazing thoughts were tumbling through her mind. Was this really Jamie? In front of her was a tall young man sporting a dark tangle of curls and a beard. He was really handsome. Taking a deep breath she regained her composure, and Jamie’s visit to London began. His visit changed her life.

“Yes Jamie, I do feel the same. I’ve never been attracted to anyone like this. You must take things slowly, and if you want a relationship to develop please respect my beliefs and views. I’ve told you how I feel about the physical side. Say now if you want things to stop here. We can still be friends.”

Liz held her breath. She loved Jamie so much, but, her faith was more important.

The only tinge of sadness in her almost perfect life was the fact that Jamie was not a believer. How glorious this life together would have been, yet nothing, to the glory of a shared eternity. Liz felt God’s hand, and was convinced, one day, He would soften Jamie’s heart.

Meeting Jamie’s parents made Liz feel nervous.

At school she vividly remembered the séance incident when Jamie had eagerly detailed an evil session one Christmas. Liz Robert and Ruth all agreed when they spoke later that the séance had called the devil. Jamie failed to see the danger of this, although he confessed how frightened he had been. Liz still shuddered at the thought.

Jamie had ‘primed’ Lil and Con about Liz, warning them to be on their best behaviour. “Hello darling. Hello Liz how wonderful to meet you at last.”

Lil was dressed in a long flowing kaftan of multi coloured silk. Her hair, pulled tightly from her face by a matching scarf, was a deep almost luminous chestnut. Her hair changed colour to enhance her mood swings. She dramatically cupped Liz’s face and kissed her lightly on both cheeks.

Con leaped down the central staircase making a spectacular entrance. As he swept Liz’s right hand from her side to brush it with his lips, Jamie winced.

“Welcome, welcome my dear Liz.”

Con had a severe bald head with a skirt of silver grey hair collected into a wispy ponytail in the nape of his neck. His voluminous satin shirt of rich blue contrasted sharply with his faded, well worn, denim jeans.

“Straight in for the kill!” thought Jamie as Lil linked her arm through Liz’s and said sweetly, “Tell us all about your beliefs darling. We’re all ears.”

Liz found her voice, and throughout the evening meal she gave her testimony and answered questions. They seemed to be genuinely interested and the evangelist in her was thrilled. The visit lasted for about six hours. They were polite and curious, questioning her as if they were seeking the truth. She left for London feeling encouraged even though Jamie made sceptical comments like, “Don’t let them fool you honey, they are sharp as razors. When they ‘stick the knife in’ they have all the facts and show no mercy.”

The next visit, two months later was totally different. Liz recalled Jamie’s words.

Jamie and Liz had been invited for a long weekend with some other guests. Jamie urged Liz to refuse, “We can make some excuse or other Liz. Honestly love you don’t want to meet any of their so called friends, they will eat you alive.”

But Liz had insisted.

“Here we are sweetie. I thought you two love birds would like this room. You can forget all that ‘virginal’ nonsense with us Liz, we’re as broad minded as they come.”

Liz felt her shoulder blades contract sharply as Lil pushed her, with Jamie into a green flower filled room with a massive four poster bed. Candles of all shapes and sizes were a predominant feature, they were everywhere.

“I would very much appreciate a room of my own Lil. Is that possible?” Liz threw a questioning look at Jamie.

“Yes, yes of course, but you don’t have to worry about us. Nothing shocks us. Sleeping together’s no big deal. You’re getting married anyway so why the fuss?”

“If it’s no trouble I would prefer a room of my own thanks.” She looked towards Jamie for help.

“Liz can stay here Lil. I’ll have my own room. O.K. ?”

Before Lil could answer he grabbed her arm and led her down the hall. He called over his shoulder,

“See you downstairs in ten minutes love.” He gave Liz a smile over his shoulder that melted her heart.

The physical side of their relationship had tested Liz. She prayed about it and asked for help, the temptation was so great, Jamie was gorgeous. She had even reasoned, in her weaker moments, that if you loved someone as much as she loved Jamie God couldn’t possibly think it was wrong. The Holy Spirit within her was clear and quite definite in convicting her of the Scriptural message regarding this. Her body was to be saved for her husband, when they would become ‘as one’. Her faith held and she refused to give in.

The weekend was one of the worst either of them ever experienced together.

Two other house guests were introduced as they gathered in the conservatory for pre-dinner drinks.

“Jamie darling bring Liz here to meet Danny and Karen.”

Danny strode forward, the silver threads in her embroidered waistcoat caught in the candlelight.

Liz was amazed. In her whole life, to that moment, she had never met anyone quite like Danny. Mumbling a polite, “Hello”, she could feel Danny’s gaze sweeping up and down over her body. She blushed.

“What a darling. How on earth do you do it Jamie. I fancy her myself.” Danny spoke as if Liz wasn’t there.

Jamie was furious. He couldn’t believe his parents would invite Danny. Of all people Danny. He paled as he imagined what must be going through Liz’s mind. He was aware of her strong views on lesbians, and he sighed because he also knew she would try and talk to Danny and her latest girlfriend Karen. Lil and Con had done this deliberately so they could sit back and watch the ‘fun’. That was the whole idea of inviting them, Liz was to be the evenings’ entertainment.

Lil moved over to Liz putting an arm around her shoulder. She noticed gleefully how flushed Liz was. She giggled in her hand thinking about Danny and her insatiable appetite for young girls just like Liz. “Danny means no harm Liz. She’s a really super person, hugely interesting. Can’t be prejudiced you know, have to make allowances. They have the same rights as us after all.”

“Oh Lil, that poor woman. I suppose she doesn’t understand what she’s doing and how wrong it is. Karen needs protecting, and Danny needs help.”

Lil smiled. It seemed as though she was pondering Liz’s words. She was really thinking what a stroke of genius it was on her part to have such contrasting dinner guests. It was going to be much better than she had hoped. “We did wonder if you would have certain ‘views’ on the subject. You are sat next to Karen, and Danny is opposite, so there will be plenty of opportunity for you to let them know what’s on your mind.”

Liz turned and saw Jamie standing close by. He had heard the conversation and was appalled. His parents had knowingly created a situation, and developed it nicely so that Liz would become the ‘floor show’. Danny would make mincemeat of her, she was as lethal with words, as she was for her famous ‘look’, a stare so cold and intense the recipient usually backed away in defeat.

However, Jamie was not prepared for the strength of character Liz was given by the Holy Spirit within her. Liz knew he failed to understand the ‘power’ she was able to ‘tap’ into. Mere words would not convince him, but action did make him wonder. Yet, even though he witnessed, through Liz, many many times the blessing, he took it no further for himself. This was to be the first of many occasions in their life together when he would marvel and respect Liz, her Christian values, and the power within her.

The meal began quite peacefully. Lil and Con were excellent hosts they directed the easy conversation through various topics. Suddenly Lil smiled directly at Liz, then said in a sweet tone to Danny and Karen, “I must share with you darlings, Liz is a ‘born again Christian’. Been Baptised and all that. Of course you must appreciate how strong her views are on lesbians.”

Lil raised her hand to her mouth and said to Danny, loudly so they could all hear, “Better not be too physical darling. She may curse you both and send you to hell.”

Danny froze, only her eyes moved, slowly and deliberately, fixing on Liz. The stare was blatant coldness as she looked into Liz’s eyes, and held them. Normally it took only a few seconds for that glare to intimidate her target. Liz didn’t flinch, she gazed deeply into Danny’s eyes, her own were full of compassion.

The atmosphere was electric. They did not expect Liz to speak. Everyone at the table seemed stunned into silence. No-one was eating. When her words penetrated, shock and surprise registered on their faces.

“I can’t condemn people to hell, people condemn themselves. Oh yes it’s very easy to live our lives responding to the sinful nature we all have. No-one has immunity, we are all filled with a sinful nature. This nature manifests itself in many guises, anger, hatred, jealousy, stealing, murder, and so on. It also shows itself, with the devils encouragement, through wrong relationships. We were made in the image of God, man and woman, to marry and have children. Women and women, men and men are wrong relationships, and if the individuals refuse to repent and accept Jesus as their Saviour, then, as sure as I am sitting here, they will be condemned to spend eternity in hell. They will be far away from the endless love and care of the Lord Jesus. Oh Karen, and you too Danny, if you value your souls stop what you are doing right now and repent.”

Danny snorted and broke their locked eyes. She had never been out stared before. Shrugging her shoulders and looking at Lil and Con, she whispered sweetly, “My my darlings, this is a first. I’ve sat round your table with all sorts but never with such a bigoted cow as this poor bitch.”

Jamie leaped from his seat, but Liz, continuing to stare at Danny gestured for him to sit down. “I pray that one day God will help you to see your sin Danny. Think about what I’ve said. I can give you contacts who will help you.”

Liz moved her eyes over to Karen who was sat to her right. She took her hand. “Karen don’t go on with this relationship, it’s wrong. Please let Jesus help you.” Karen had huge tears pouring down her face. Liz put an arm around her.

“Take your stinking hands off her.” Danny flung herself across the table snatching at Liz’s arms. She knocked over her glass of wine and the beautiful embroidered waistcoat was doused with red patches spreading to mingle with the yellow mustard sauce picked up from the beef on her plate.

Liz smiled gently at Danny. “I can understand your anger. Please accept help.” She noticed the stained satin stitches and material. “Danny, look at your beautiful waistcoat. Go and rinse it before it’s runined.”

Karen was speaking softly to Liz. Lil and Con were speechless. Jamie was in complete awe of his fiancé.

Danny returned in a black and gold waistcoat. The meal continued with Liz carrying them through it. She talked about her life, her love of gardening, how she enjoyed cooking. Karen joined in. It was a strange evening.

Liz didn’t hear from Danny, but Karen crept into her room on their last evening, to ask for the name of a Christian councillor. She said she had told Danny she was leaving and had slept in a different room since the first night.

Karen kept in touch with Liz, eventually inviting her to her Baptism. She had gone home to Sheffield after the counselling, and found a Church. She was thrilled to be able to work, helping other young girls who wondered why they felt ‘different’. Danny had convinced her that these ‘feelings’ were telling her she was a lesbian and she should explore the feminine attraction of other females. Karen now understood the ‘real’ problems causing her to feel different. It had nothing to do with being sexually attracted to females and everything to do with her unfortunate relationship with her parents. Karen became a leading campaigner for Christian counselling.

Whenever Liz recalled the weekend she cringed. There was no way she could have handled the situation on her own. The strength and power of the Holy Spirit within her, gave her the words, attitude and confidence. She praised the Lord for Karen’s Salvation.

Liz prayed daily in thanks for the gift of the Holy Spirit working within her, and her life.

Jamie and Liz had a quiet wedding.  It was exactly what they wanted, even though Lil and Con were desperate for a big bash’. Both Liz and Jamie were horrified at the thought, so they insisted on keeping it simple.

When Liz looked back she felt sad. The service was full of God’s Word and presence. Even Con and Lil were subdued. Liz prayed for Jamie to respond to the strong message, he had obviously been ‘touched’ by it. At first he went to the services each Sunday,

“This is great. Super people and I have to admit I really enjoy the services.”

Sadly though Sunday working and liquid lunches at the pub overtook this enjoyment and Jamie gradually stopped going to church altogether.

Liz tried to pray with him. He laughed awkwardly, and said he didn’t feel right about it and he was sorry.

He also frequently said, “Look sweetheart, I’m only young. There’s plenty of time.”

Oh Jamie, Jamie. Liz had heard that so many times, often though it became too late and the person died before making the commitment. She shivered longing for an eternity together. Unless Jamie sought salvation he would be separated from her forever if he died in his sin.

Motherhood thrilled Liz. She felt an active part of God’s miraculous world, and as the individuals grew inside her she became excited and eager for their birth.

Twins are hard work. With two crying, eating and wetting machines Liz needed every bit of help she could get. Jamie took some weeks away from college, so they ran into the long summer holiday. He was great.

The boys thrived, and as they developed, different temperaments and personalities began to emerge. Pete was shy, but always eager to please, while Simon got on with things, and didn’t worry if he had someone to play with or not. They hardly ever argued.

Sarah was born a few months after their third birthday.

The years rushed by, all the children attended church and Sunday School with Liz. She craved for Jamie to be part of their worship and she prayed daily for this.

Pete was the twin who looked after Sarah. They became really close as they got older.

As Simon entered his teenage years he began to have a double life. The group of boys he chose to spend time with at school, and any evenings he could deceitfully manipulate, were not a good influence. Together they became a formidable gang. They flexed the muscles of developing manhood with ‘dare-devil’ stunts, vandalism, drinking, smoking and generally bullying the old and weak. At home Simon was quiet, almost sullen, rebelling against home and school rules, church and general parental control, with the attitude, there was nothing they could do to stop him. He just didn’t care. If he was grounded he calmly walked out when he felt like it. When confronted he didn’t argue or even speak he just turned away leaving his parents talking to his back, despairing. Jamie had once lost his temper and reached out to slap Simon. Simon stared fully into his eyes and said if he laid a finger on him he would walk out of the door and never come back. Jamie felt helpless, unable to control his own son. His answer to this was to distance himself through work.

It reached the point where Liz was dealing with the problem on her own. She eventually found she could go on no longer, so she handed Simon over to Jesus. She had read a book by a lady who put down on paper how she coped with the many problems she faced in her life. One problem was a son who weighed so heavily on her she needed to ask the Lord to take away the burden in her heart. To do this she describes how you need to imagine a staircase with Jesus sat at the top. You are at the bottom with your child. Take your child and gently place him/her into a beautiful box. Make sure they are comfortable in there and place the lid on. Begin to walk carefully up the stairs towards Jesus, carrying the box in your arms. When you reach the top hand Jesus the box, watch Him begin to unwrap it and gently remove your child. Turn and walk back down the stairs. Pause halfway to look and see Jesus with your precious one, then carry on to the bottom and leave the burden of worry with Jesus. Liz mentally acted through this. The relief was immediate.

The church prayed regularly with her for Simon and also for Jamie.

When Pete and Sarah were Baptised Liz almost burst with joy.

Amazingly Jamie went to the church, although he refused to admit how deeply the testimonies and commitment had ‘moved’ him.

All the hope and joy from two of her children became tarnished when Simon was arrested for shoplifting. Simon was released with a caution and the undertaking to keep away from the ‘gang’. It was his first offence.

“OK, if I can’t see the lads I’ll go and stay with Lil and Con, at least they understand me!” After this statement, the only words he spoke to his parents, he went straight to his bedroom to pack.

Jamie was eager to agree. He was thinking, ” At least he won’t be in my ‘hair’ then.” Liz felt uneasy.

“Look Jamie,” Liz had finally got him to sit down and talk to her properly, “Lil and Con may not be the best influence for Simon at the moment. He needs some discipline and stability, not more bad influences.”

“I know Lil and Con are unconventional, but they won’t do Simon any harm.” He could hear the words and hardly believe he was saying them. “Simon is beyond our control now. Praying and going to church won’t help so I think, if they will have him, it’s probably the best place for him. Things can’t get any worse than they are now.”

Liz sighed and then shivered. Yet again she handed over the burden to Jesus. Yet again she wondered how people coped when they didn’t have the loving arms of the Lord to rest in. She felt sorry for Jamie.

A heavy feeling weighed deep within Liz as she put Simon’s suitcase in the boot of the car. Simon did not speak or acknowledge his Mum throughout the journey.

Lil gave Simon an exaggerated wink, before turning to face his mother. “Darling, do stop fussing. Let the kid have some space!”

Liz gave a watery half smile, waved, and slowly moved the car down the drive. Glancing in the mirror she watched them tap dancing up and down the wide sweep of steps leading up to the front door. She winced, groaning inwardly as she said a silent prayer.

Each time Liz telephoned, Jamie’s parents would be glib and make trite comments, “He’s having a great time here, no trouble at all, for us.”

Simon would not speak to her. The uneasy feeling lingered.

Liz had resumed part time work with the Mission at one of their centres in Chattabridge. She was in deep conversation with a colleague when the message reached her to contact Jamie.

“Hello Jamie it’s me. Is something wrong?” Liz held her breath.

“Yes love. Simon’s been taken to Bridgenorth Intensive Care Unit and we’ve got to get there as quickly as possible. I’ll pick you up outside the centre in forty-five minutes. I’ve just got to sort out cover for the rest of my lectures.”

The telephone went dead and Liz stared at the receiver clutched tightly in her hand.

“What’s wrong Liz?” Brian the colleague she had been with snapped her out of the initial shock.

“It’s Simon. There’s been an accident. Jamie’s picking me up.” Trembling she replaced the handset. Brian reached out and squeezed her arm.

“Let’s have a time of prayer before you go.”

They sat down side by side in the tiny office and Brian quietly began to pray. “Loving Father, please be with Liz and her family as they face this worrying time. Give journeying mercies to Liz and Jamie as they travel to be near to Simon. Give Simon courage and strength, and help him to feel Your presence and Your power. Be with them at this difficult time. In Jesus precious name. Amen. “

Calmness washed through Liz and she knew her Saviour was already answering the prayer. She smiled, still with her eyes closed, she said out loud, “Thank you Lord. Thank you. Amen.”

“You know where we are Liz, if there’s anything we can do, you only have to ask.” Brian handed her the duffle coat and woven bag hanging on the back of the chair. “Go on Liz. Take care. God Bless.”

Liz felt Jamie touch her cheek as they prepared for the night in a room the hospital provided. The doctors had told them Simon was only being kept alive by the machines and they needed to think seriously about the future. They asked them to consider donating Simon’s organs for transplant?

Liz cried. Jamie put an arm around her shoulders but he recoiled angrily when she said, “If he dies he’s facing a lost eternity Jamie. He has seemed so far away from God. Oh I do pray that Jesus will give him a chance, a final chance to confess his sin and find salvation in the Saviour.”

“Oh for goodness sake!”

Liz winced at the tone of his voice.

“Is that all you can say’? Get real Liz!”

Never had she felt the barrier between them so strongly.

Her faith was steadfast and sure as she placed everything in the Lord’s hands. His peace and the calmness it brought sustained her throughout the tortuous decisions needing to be made.

Simon had been brought to the hospital with a high level of alcohol in his blood and stomach. The knock on his head had fractured his skull in three places. He was brain dead.

The goodbyes were a nightmare. Silently, with tears pouring down her face, Liz prayed continually for Simon to see Jesus. When Pete and Sarah joined them at the bedside even Jamie held hands, as a family, and for the first time they were united in prayer.

The doctors said they had never seen anything quite like it. Somehow, and they were not yet sure how, Simon was breathing on his own.

His blood pressure gradually began to rise and after five hours of steady improvement his eyelids fluttered and he looked at his Mum and smiled.

“Praise the Lord! Thankyou!” Liz turned to Jamie and both of them, crying hugged each other and then tried to hug Simon between the pipes and tubes.

From that moment of awakening Simon was a new person. His experience had convicted him of his sin and Simon told Liz, “I have truly, really, factually been born again Mum. It scares me more than anything I have ever feared, to think how close I came to hell.”

Jamie would not discuss this with her or with Simon, even though it was obvious he felt as amazed as everyone else with the change in Simon.

Liz thought, “If only Jamie would have a softening of heart and put his trust in Jesus too.”

Liz echoed this thought some years later when the car pulled up into the garage, and Jamie didn’t get out.

Liz opened the side door and wondered why he was still sat in the car. “Darling are you OK?” Her face had a worried expression as she moved towards her husband.