Gingerly moving into adulthood, eagerly wanting to live,

A life  of excitement and meaning, yet it never seemed to arrive.

Searching for more than moments, fleeting memories all too soon gone,

Where smells and association, only re-capture in a muddled head,

What's long since over and done.

A bonfire smoking, warm summer evenings, roses,  snow,  and walks into town,

The canal, a coal fire, new Whitsun clothes,

Dancing and pretending in a dressing up gown.

Childhood days, no problems or worries, each day like a glowing ember,

Into stored recollections, free from bad things,

The most peaceful time you remember.

Growing and ageing make you look back,

Life seems to have lost that innocent glow.

Being dissatisfied, watching others with envy,

Leaving home to party and share, a busy eventful life...

But still unsatisfied, and going nowhere...


Ever nearer that sudden end... To what?


Relationships to grow and then spoil,

Even the special one, for a while is lost,

No real meaning, life runs by, there is nothing of which to boast.


Yet there must be something more than this!